-3 days

i wish i could say that all of you were right and that i just fell into it and everything was perfect. Sadly, that was not the case. i was out of sorts from the moment i met my Master at the airport on Thursday – annoyed that i was having to wear an uncomfortable butt plug, instead of seeing it as an opportunity to please. Testy and argumentative. Distant. All the things i don’t want to be, but somehow couldn’t help. i sucked His cock, said all the right words, spread my legs for Him to fuck, but my heart just wasn’t completely in it. i knew it, he knew it, but we both muddled through, Him occasionally asking me what was up, me being unable to clearly articulate it.

We did have a nice visit – it was fabulous to have him in my new home, and my new bed. Fabulous to cook dinner together, something we’ve not really done before. Fabulous just to hang around the house having normal time. But it wasn’t satisfying either of our needs, deep down. Because i was fighting it.

Friday night, after the dinner we cooked for each other, we were sitting together on the couch, and something clicked in me. i got down on my knees in front of Him, kneeling at His side as He stroked my hair and face. i felt better than i had all visit. i only went back up to the couch in order to give Him a long foot massage, something that He absolutely adores, and i felt good to be serving Him that way.

Later, He went into the bathroom. Being His piss slut is one of the things that i’ve been particularly fighting lately, but hearing the sound of His piss hitting the water, i was compelled to go over to the bathroom. i knelt outside the door, and He turned and put His cock in my mouth.

i didn’t know if He was done or not. i didn’t know if He would be pissing in my mouth – expecting me to swallow without spilling a drop – or if i was simply to clean Him off. But – most importantly – it also didn’t matter. In that moment i was simply submitting, whatever that might mean, whatever He might want from me.

My body flushed with submission. i tingled from head to toe with the feeling of giving over all that control, with simply trusting and serving and submitting my will to His. He pulled His cock from my mouth – all He needed from me was to clean it off – and stood there, holding my face in His hands. The pure emotion of submission flowed through me.

We went to bed soon after, and i was on fire. Every touch of my Master’s hands on my skin further aroused me. Unlocking my submission had unlocked my sexuality too, and when my Master finally gave me His permission, i came long and hard around His cock in my cunt, every contraction furthering my connection and submission to Him.

Unfortunately, He had to leave early the next morning. So now my challenge is to hold onto that feeling until i see Him again, in about three weeks.