Archive for the ‘masturbation’ Category


Bunny Love

October 28, 2008

i’ve always wondered what a Rabbit vibrator would be like. They seem so… goofy. But promising at the same time. So when i got an email offering me my choice of one from the Rabbit Vibrator website, well, i jumped at the chance to try it out and share my experience with all of you![1]

When i picked out the G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator, i was paying attention to that lovely curved head, destined for my happy spot. Not to mention the 7 different vibration options, and the 6 different rotation speeds. What i missed entirely was the “strobe lighted beads” mentioned in the description. My Master was downstairs when i unpacked this baby and fired it up for the first time, and He had to call upstairs to find out just what it was i was laughing about. It’s like a party in your pants!

But, i hasten to add, it’s a *really good* party in your pants. And i tend to masturbate with my eyes closed, and often under the covers on these quickly growing colder autumn nights. So i don’t actually notice the multi-colored strobe lights.

What i do notice is how perfectly this vibe fits, and hits all the right spots. Even with no vibrations turned on, the way the head nestles against my g-spot and those goofy rabbit ears line up on either side of my clit is enough to get my juices flowing. And once i turn the vibrations on, well, it gets even more interesting.

For the uninitiated, i refer you to the Wikipedia page on Rabbit Vibrators (man, i love how everything is on Wikipedia!). But basically, it combines a rotating shaft with clitoral stimulation courtesy of little vibrating rabbit ears. The rotating beads in the shaft definitely add some interest – i’ve always been a vibrator girl, so i figured i’d like the ears, but wasn’t sure what the beads would be like.

i was really pleased with the vibration. i’m a Hitachi girl, and i’ve gotten used to the particular frequency of the Magic Wand (only on the low setting, please). Most battery operated vibes i’ve used don’t have the power or the right oomph to actually make me come before i end up with vibration induced numbness. Not this one. There are seven different vibration settings, but i’d be happy with just two. The first is the setting where pulsing vibrations escalate from low to high, and then back down again. i call this the tease and torment setting, because at the high point of the scale i’m right on the edge of coming, but it never lasts long quite long enough to push me over. Evil, that. And the changing intensity of the vibrations keeps me from going numb. When i can’t take it any more, i switch over to the highest frequency of the 3 steady vibration settings, which does the trick with (by that time) blessed efficiency.

Small downsides – well, there are the strobe lights. And while i don’t actually mind, i can’t say they’re a feature. And then there’s the smell. Besides the g-spot angle, one of the thing that appealed to me about this model is that it wasn’t made of jelly rubber, which i’ve never been a fan of in sex toys. And while i do appreciate the firmer non-jellyness of this one, it does have that same offgassing smell of a new vinyl shower curtain, which is not particularly erotic to me. But that’s already toned down a lot, so with more time out of the box, it should go away.

But all in all, i’m pretty thrilled with this new addition to my toy drawer. And if you like vibes, i think you’d be too. Don’t fear the cute! The Rabbit Vibrator website has 20+ different models at a variety of price points and with all kinds of different features, so there’s probably a bunny there for you to fall in love with too.

[1] Which is to say, i got one free in exchange for writing about it. But if i didn’t like it or thought it was badly made, i totally would have said those things.


Autoerotic Inspiration

October 1, 2008

i got into bed, wishing You were in those nice cuddly blankets with me. Instead, i pulled out some toys and got into bed to prepare to masturbate for You.

i’d been thinking about that fantasy i wrote for You all evening, so i continued to think about it while i rubbed my nipples. i remembered how slutty and submissive it felt to have You using my mouth in between taking pictures of me.

Thinking about having my mouth full of You, i wanted something in my mouth to help my imagination along. So i got the big purple dildo from the drawer and sucked on it like i would Your cock, taking it as deep into my mouth as i could as i played with my nipples, then my clit, and then slid the glass wand into my cunt.

i continued fantasizing and let the wand just sit in my cunt as i bucked my hips and played with my nipples, thinking about sucking You off in the car, thinking about getting caught, thinking about the rest, the dildo in my mouth the whole time.

Finally i couldn’t take it anymore, and i reached one hand down between my legs, using it to move the wand in my cunt at the same time i rubbed my clit. i turned the dildo so that it was even farther down my throat, and i had to struggle a little to breath around it as i brought myself to orgasm. My mouth and throat were too full to beg for permission, but i thought it in my mind and then came for You.

Afterwards, i knelt for You before kissing Your bracelet and going to sleep, feeling grateful that You allowed me to come for You, like a loved and cherished slavegirl.

Thank You, Sir.


A Little Shoe Fucking

August 4, 2008


When we finished our second scene at the club, we wandered around a bit, checking out the rest of the action. We’d started playing early, when things were still pretty quiet, and by the time we were done there were a lot of scenes going on.

But one scene in particular really caught our attention. If you could design the perfect scene for us to walk into, this would be it. A tightly bound sub was being worked on by two tops, one male, one female. She was in the process of being taken down from a rope suspension, and while the male top was taking rope off, the female top was keeping everyone entertained and busy. And that’s where it gets interesting.

When we walked in, the female top was lying on her back on the floor, with her high heeled shoe up in the sub’s face, demanding that she clean it thoroughly with her tongue. If she slowed her pace, or didn’t appear to be doing it enthusiastically enough, the male top behind her would slap her ass, or otherwise “encourage” her.

When she finally got it clean enough, the shoe’s wearer said “Oh good, now I can get it dirty again” and proceeded to fuck the partially suspended sub’s cunt with her shoe, bringing her (amidst much protest) to a writhing thrashing orgasm all over the shoe. And then, of course, she was commanded to clean it off again. By the time she finished that, the bondage was completely removed and she collapsed into a heap on the floor.

OMFG. If you click on the shoe slut tag for my blog, you’ll know that fantasies like this make a frequent appearance in our fantasy life. We talk a LOT about engaging in “shoe play” with a femme top. We got a taste of it at La Domaine, but the scene we’d just watched the tail end of was pretty much exactly how i have fantasized about such a thing playing out. Not the bondage or the suspension, per se, but the brash, demanding and taunting demeanor of the female top, and her clear enjoyment of the treatment she was inflicting was just soooo hot!

Unsurprisingly, that scene remains vivid in both of our minds still today. Yesterday afternoon i came all over the toe of my own sex shoe, imagining myself on my knees, legs spread wide, arms bound, and my body anchored from above with rope so that i couldn’t fall down. i imagined begging my Mistress to please fuck me with her shoe, imagined her making me really beg for it, tell her why i was worthy to dirty her shoe, making me recite over and over that i was a shoe fucking slut. i imagined her bringing the pointy toe of her black patent shoes to my face, making me lick and kiss and suck the shoe, her shoving it into my mouth so far i nearly gagged. Then taking that shoe, still on her foot, wet with my saliva, and sliding it into my dripping cunt, and fucking me with it. First slow, then faster, angled so that the top of the shoe rubbed against my clit while the point of the toe drove in and out of my cunt.

In reality, driving my own shoe in and out of my cunt in just that way, i felt an orgasm coming, and begged aloud for permission from my Master and (imagined) Mistress while my fantasy self did the same. Feeling my sticky cunt juices coating the shoe with every pulse of orgasm through my cunt, and knowing all the time what service would be required of me next, when my Mistress lifted her shoe to my face once again.

So, ahem, does anyone have any shoes that need cleaning?


More chain

June 19, 2008

Last night’s instructions: “Masturbate for me, with the chain you find so appealing, but don’t come. I like thinking about you going to sleep submissive, wet, and eager to please.”

As soon as i read my instructions, my cunt started getting wet. Getting into bed, i took the longest chain from the drawer. it was cold, and i started off by just draping it down my cunt slit while i played with my nipples. i let it lay there warming for a little while, then i took hold of the end of the chain and pulled it slowly over my clit. By the time the end got to the top, it was slick and wet from my cunt juices. i started sliding it into my cunt, a finger length at a time, feeling my cunt grow fuller and fuller with each length.

When i had it all in except for the ring on the end. i got up on my knees to kneel for my Master. i wanted to know if it would stay in, and it did. i slipped my finger down to rub my clit a little as i knelt, feeling my cunt grasping around the chain.

Still kneeling, i continued rubbing my nipples and playing with my clit. Then i grabbed hold of the end of the ring and slowly pulled it out of my cunt as i continued to play with my clit. i don’t know why i find it so erotic, but i do, and after i had the chain fully out, i couldn’t help but want to put it back in. It was harder to get back in all the way, because of my kneeling position and because it was so slippery wet. So i rolled over onto my back instead and got it most of the way back in.

i kept rubbing my clit, and when i got close to orgasm i stopped and pulled the chain out, fast this time. The angle was such that as i pulled it out the chain ran along my clit, and even though i tried to stop it, i felt my body respond with a couple of spasms – not a full fledged orgasm, but something.

Realizing what had happened, i flipped over immediately to kneel for my Master, feeling guilty and contrite for going too far. i knelt like that for a while, focusing my thoughts on my Master. Then i rolled over onto my back. i was still aroused – it hadn’t been enough of a release to quiet my cunt. Thinking about His instructions, i played with my clit some more, building myself up and making sure that my cunt would be wet and wanting and i would be feeling submissive, wet and eager to please as i headed off to sleep. As i rubbed my clit, i fantasized about Him pissing on my cunt as i masturbated, and that fantasy got me very hot, very fast.

Feeling that heat in my cunt, i kissed my Master’s bracelet, then rolled over to drift off to sleep and dream of Him.



June 19, 2008


Away for work, staying in a suites hotel, all i could think of when i looked at the couch was how nice it would be to be on my back being fucked by my Master, as we have done on many a hotel couch before. i emailed Him to tell Him that, and in my bedtime instructions, he told me to lie on my back on the couch, legs up in the air, imagining Him fucking my cunt. i imagined His long strokes in and out, and Him bending me in half to get as deep as He could.

When i stay in hotels, i have to wear my wrist and ankle cuffs, and a chain to link my ankle cuffs together. As i lied on my back, the chain connecting my ankle cuffs slid up against my cunt, and i shivered at the cold. i took the chain and laid it against my clit and my slit. But that wasn’t enough. i took the chain and pushed it into my cunt. i lied there legs up, chain in my cunt, rubbing my nipples and fantasizing about Him fucking me. The chain that wasn’t in my cunt was up against my clit, and if i moved my leg it would rub against my clit, and soon i found myself eding orgasm like that, just with the chain jiggling on my clit, more chain in my cunt, and my fingers on my nipples.

i moved my legs down and the chain came out. But i needed to feel my arousal and my need for my Master, so i did it again, edging once again, amazed that if i only had permission, i could have come like that, just from the chain against my clit and inside my cunt. i played with myself like that a couple times more, not wanting to stop, the arousal of being so close somehow less frustrating than the ache in my loins as i prepared to go to sleep unfulfilled.

i wrote my Master to tell Him about it, and begged as sweetly as i could for permission to orgasm the next morning before i went off to work. i had been on edge for days, and couldn’t imagine trying to concentrate with that heat in my cunt. i promised Him that i would do it in as slutty a way as he wanted – with the chain, or the shoe, however He wanted.

Lucky slavegirl that i am, i woke up to permission to give my Master an orgasm. “With a plug in your ass. With the shoe in your cunt. On your back. On the couch.”

i went into the bathroom, lubed up the plug and slid it into my ass, thinking how appreciative i am that my Master has taught me to be His ass slut and to enjoy the sensation of being so full there.

i took my shoe and the chain i had been wearing to sleep in over to the couch. Ever since the night before i had been fantasizing about stuffing the entire length of the chain inside of me. Maybe wearing it there through my day, or just pulling it out slowly or quickly as i masturbated.

i began playing with my nipples. My cunt was already wet, and it just got wetter. i took the length of chain and started sliding it into my cunt. It went in very easily, i was so very slippery and wet. When i had everything in but the ring at one end, i went back to playing with my nipples and rubbing my clit. i was so close to orgasm already, that i took my hand off my clit and used it to thrust the butt plug deeper into my ass.

i knew i wasn’t going to last long – i’d been too aroused for too long to stretch this one out. i started rubbing my clit again and pulled the chain slowly out. Someday i’d like to come that way, but this time i made sure i didn’t. Instead, i reached over to get the shoe, and slid it straight into my sloppy wet cunt.

i thrust the shoe in and out of my cunt as i rubbed my clit, all the while imagining my Master there watching me, teasing me, egging me on. As orgasm approached, i begged aloud “please Sir, please let Your shoe-fucking slut come for You.” Like a mantra, i repeated it several times until i came in a shuddering, moaning, gasping orgasm.

And now, still, all i can think about is the feeling of the chain in my cunt.


Property on display

May 2, 2008

i blindfolded myself and began as You told me, rubbing my nipples. i imagined walking down the halls of a hotel with You, holding my skirt up above my ass. i imagined You commanding me to assume various positions – to kneel, to present my ass, to show my bra. i imagined someone complimenting You on Your property, and You thanking them and asking if they wanted to borrow the use of me for a little while. i was getting very aroused thinking about these things.

Next i took two clothespins and put them on my nipples. My tender nipples, which hurt quite a bit at the bite of the clothespins. i took a shoe from the drawer and smelled and licked it and sucked the heel as i played with my clit a little bit. Still fantasizing, now about being on display at one side of a big playroom, following Your instructions to reveal different parts of my body, listening to people talking about me like i wasn’t there. Hands reaching out to touch and pinch my nipples, to spread my ass cheeks and inspect me.

i slid the toe of the shoes between my legs and used it to rub my clit as i tugged on the clothespins on my nipples and continued to fantasize. The scene i kept coming back to was just that moment of You casually offering me up to another for use.

Without being able to do anything penetrative i wasn’t getting anywhere with the shoe. So i switched to rubbing my clit with a finger. i popped off one of the clothespins and massaged the blood back into my nipple, pain and pleasure mingling and an orgasm rising. i felt myself grow closer and closer as i thought about performing and being on display, and when i was right on the edge i pulled off the other clothespin. As i rubbed it to pain and pleasure it combined with the sensations in my clit and then i was calling out to You for permission before an orgasm rocked through me.

Thank You, Sir.

i cleaned up, then knelt for You, thinking about how close i feel to You right now. How at peace with my submission. i thought about how close Your next visit is, just two weeks now, and looked forward to the opportunity to serve You in person and show You my appreciation and gratitude to You. Then i kissed Your bracelet and went to sleep.


On fire

April 29, 2008

i’m so horny my hands are shaking. My cunt is dripping and throbbing. My ass is clenching and unclenching around the butt plug inside it. Sex is all i can think about. Every nerve ending in my body is electrified – the touch of my shirt against my back is almost too much to stand. My Master has been playing with me today, keeping me aroused and on the edge. Making me beg Him for permission to have an orgasm tonight. i’ve been playing with myself too, pushing even farther than He demanded. Rubbing my nipples and clit as i pissed, licking my piss off my hand afterwards. i begged Him to let me put the koosh ball in my pants, and He did, but warned me that i’d better not come. i kept having to take it out. Because it was too much, i was on the edge for so long, i felt like maybe i was falling over the wrong side with all the intensity i was feeling. But i’m still insanely aroused now, so i don’t think i really did. Maybe a little bit, but not really. My cunt is on fire. My jeans are damp straight through. My fantasies get nastier and sluttier as the day goes on, until i am fantasizing about being pissed on by strangers, imagining my Master ordering me to open my mouth as 2 or 3 of them piss on my face, then when they are done, forcing me down to lick the piss from the bottom of the tub. And i’m terrified that someday He’ll make me do it, but i can’t help that the fantasy makes me so hot i want to cream in my jeans as i’m thinking of it.


Periods and pinning

March 31, 2008

i went upstairs and took a nice hot bath. My period was still being odd – no real blood yet, just rusty mucus still. Cramps on and off all day. Annoying.

i got into bed and knelt for You, thinking about the period problem, knowing i needed to have a certain kind of orgasm to help it along, but also keeping in mind Your instructions to masturbate submissively.

So i rolled onto my back and started playing with my nipples. They’re sensitive right now – erotically, but also just a little sore when played with. So i knew it was really going to hurt when i put the clothespins on them, and i was right.

One clothespin on each nipple. i breathed deeply, breathed through the pain and sensation, imagining that it was You there, putting those clothepins on me, watching my every reaction so closely.

i took my vibrator out of the drawer and put it on my clit. i ran it briefly, just until i felt the climb to orgasm begin, and then shut it off. i reached and tugged and played with the clips, remembering our scene in Seattle – chained to the chain link fence as You pinned me.

i ran the vibrator on my clit again, again stopping before i came.

Tugged and played with the clothespins again, remembering You pinning me as i sat on the corner of the pool table at the club in Detroit. Remembering the first time you really tried out the clothespins and found out just how much fun they could be.

The sensation from the pins had dulled down as i put the vibrator to my clit again. This time, when orgasm approached, i let it, begging You for permission to give You my orgasm, then snatching both clothespins off at once. i rubbed and pulled on the tender nubs as the blood rushed back into them, riding the mix of pain and pleasure as orgasm overtook me.

i knelt again, thanking You, then kissing Your bracelet and drifting off into a deep sleep.


More piss slut practice

January 3, 2008

Remember in yesterday’s “just so horny” post, when i said that i’d been a little over-eager? Well, Master was so pleased with my over-eagerness that He wants me to post the email i wrote Him about it. i’m feeling really humiliated and embarrassed about posting it. It’s bad enough to be ordered or forced to do the things i describe in it, but it’s way more humiliating to admit that you came up with this stuff all on your own.


Instructions: Be my piss slut tonight, in every way possible. Keep yourself submissive, wet — especially wet — and eager to please. Play with yourself, without coming, while thinking about being my piss slut. You are mine, completely and totally.

i went upstairs and went into the bathroom. i ran the water in the bathtub to preheat it so it would be warm when i was ready – it takes so long for the warm water to get upstairs otherwise. i took the cup from the bathroom sink and held it between my legs as i stood in the empty bathtub. i played with a nipple with my free hand and watched in fascination and arousal as me pee was collected into the cup. i brought the cup to my mouth, took a deep breath of my aroma, then drank a mouthful of my piss. i poured the rest of the cup over my breasts and down my body as i played with my clit with my free hand. i stood in the tub, covered with piss, until i was at the brink of an orgasm, then i filled the tub with water and slipped into it.

In the tub i couldn’t help but play with my nipples a bit as i relaxed in the hot water and fantasized about Your visit. It wasn’t long before i felt the urge to pee again – it’s very hard for me to fully empty my bladder under these circumstances, and i’d had quite a bit to drink before coming upstairs in order to prepare for being Your piss slut. i got up on my knees so that i was above the water level and held the cup between my legs again. While i peed, i fantasized about meeting You at the airport. i imagined that on the drive back, You pulled over to the side of the road, telling me that You needed to piss and i needed to be Your toilet, right there. And that i had better not spill a drop. As i imagined drinking the piss from Your cock, i lifted the cup from between my legs and drank from it. it was a longer drink this time, as i tried to prepare myself for Your use this weekend. i poured the remainder of the cup over my cunt as i rubbed my clit and brought myself to the edge of orgasm once again.

i tried to relax in the hot water, but i wanted desparately to be used and violated in that moment. i reached over to get my hairbrush out of the drawer. i shoved it into my cunt, right up to the hilt without any preparation. it went in easily, and enjoyed feeling it’s stiffness in my cunt. i thrust my hips and moved it in and out, enjoying the sensations building, but being very careful not to get too close and risk and accident. Thinking about wearing my butt plug today, i suddenly wanted to feel something in my ass. i tried to put the hairbrush handle in, but it was too stiff and wouldn’t go in without lube under the water. So i cleaned it off and put it back into my cunt and inserted a finger into my asshole instead. That was a very intense sensation, and i imagined You fucking me with the butt plug in, or better yet, two cocks in me, one in my ass and the other in my cunt. i was feeling very aroused, so i took the hairbrush out of cunt and instead slipped a second finger into my ass. i thrust my fingers in my ass while playing with my nipple with my free hand, and brought myself very close to orgasm again. i was surprised at the idea that i could come just from that stimulation, and imagined what that might mean for when You choose to use me as Your ass slut.

i finished up in the bathtub and got out. i needed to empty my bladder before going to sleep, so i sat on the toilet and held the cup between my legs again, playing with my nipple ever so slightly as i peed. i brought the cup (about a quarter full) to my lips and slipped my free hands between my legs, rubbing my clit furiously as i drank down the entire contents of the glass. i imagined that i was drinking Your piss from Your cock, although i was very aware that it would be much harder to do this from You. i’d been drinking lots of water, so my piss was much more dilute than Yours has been the times You have had me drink it. i finished drinking it and kept playing with my clit until i neared orgasm again, then stopped.

i brushed my teeth, took my sleep drugs, and went into the bedroom. i knelt next to the bed, thinking about all i had done and what a complete and utter piss slut You have made me into. i thought about how much i was craving Your touch and Your visit. i thought about what i had done for You this night, and felt confident that You would be pleased with how i had followed Your instructions. (Also thinking that i frequently come up with far more nasty things to do to myself than You would, and You must greatly enjoy seeing how i debase myself with Your open-ended instructions.)

i had been kneeling with my upper body on the bed, but i pulled straight up then and began rubbing both of my nipples as i knelt there with my legs spread. i only stopped when i was gasping and shuddering with arousal, whereupon i kissed Your bracelet and crawled into bed.

But even there, i couldn’t leave myself alone. i was lying on my side and my hips started bucking. i was in the same position (on my side, with a pillow between my legs) that i had been in for my second accident last week, and i could feel that it would only take a few thrusts of my hips like that for me to orgasm. So instead i rolled onto my back and spread my legs far apart, thinking about how in this state i could probably come rubbing up against just about anything You told me to, i was so desperately horny and aroused. i thought about You fucking me when You visit, and how desperately i will need to beg for permission to touch myself then. i imagined You taking my ass instead of my cunt the first time You fucked me, wanting to hold off this naughty slavegirl’s satisfaction as long as possible. But i imagined You giving me permission to touch myself, and imagined coming with You fucking my ass.

After all that, i was so horny and so aroused that i had a really hard time sleeping (see my opening comment re. “a little too eager”). Finally i drifted off into fitful sleep filled with dreams of fucking. Somewhere in there i dreamed about having a dream in which i orgasmed and had to admit that to You the next morning. But i don’t think i actually came in my sleep, it was just a dream within a dream.

And now i’m sopping wet again from writing this to You.


Body Betrayal, Part 3

December 30, 2007

(Read Part 1 and Part 2)

This series is called Body Betrayal, and my day of utter debauchery had started when, the night before, my body had betrayed me with a surprise orgasm. Late at night after that day of debauchery, my body betrayed me again with another unexpected and unsolicited orgasm. But perhaps it was inevitable, given the evening i had…


Home, dinner with my family, got my son to bed. All the while wearing panties damp with my own piss and the cunt juices that continued to trickle from my hungry hole.

My Master had greatly enjoyed hearing about me sucking the piss out of my panties, and told me to do it again and this time to take pictures of myself to send to Him. i put my butt plug back in, drank water, read sex blogs and played with my nipples, and when the tension of my need to pee became inseparable from my sexual tension, i went into the bathroom. i sat on the toilet, rubbing my nipples and pissing through that same set of panties, then took a series of pictures of myself licking and sucking my piss and juices from them. When i finished, i took off the panties, balled them up and put them in my mouth, keeping them there until i finished uploading all the pictures and sending them to my Master. Panties in my mouth, butt plug in my ass, only my cunt was empty, and i was suddenly overcome with desire to stuff those panties up my cunt. i SMS’d Master for permission, and He gave it to me.

The panties were sopping wet from piss and saliva. My cunt was sopping wet too, and it took no effort at all to push that g-string up into my cunt. i left a little string poking out and took a picture to send to my Master. it was getting late by this time, and i kept the panties in my cunt as i moved around the house gathering up my toys and tidying a little before going upstairs to bed. Every step squeezed moisture from the panties and sent it running down my legs.

i was still wearing my big butt plug. i’d had it in most of the day and it was glorious. In fact, what had once seemed like such a big plug and such effort to use now seemed too small. i had told Master that earlier in the day and He had promised/threatened me with a larger one, a thought that pushed my arousal even further. i do have one toy that is bigger than that plug, and it is the big purple dildo that is my favorite to masturbate with.

i texted my Master, begging His permission to try to fuck my ass with that dildo. i wasn’t sure i could do it – it’s actually a little bigger than His cock, which i have yet to take in my ass, and it seemed ambitious. But i was needing and craving to feel fuller there, so i was thrilled when my Master gave me permission to do so.

But first i went to the bathroom to piss once again, with the panties still in my cunt. When i was finished, i slowly pulled the panties out of my cunt, savoring every inch and the shivers of sensation it sent through my body. Then i stuffed those sopping wet panties in my mouth again, savoring the sweet sour musky flavor of my cunt juices for a while, then rinsing them out and throwing them into the hamper.

My ass was tingling in time to my cunt in anticipation of the big event. i knelt next to the bed and took the butt plug out. i lubed up my purple dildo and reached behind me. i prepared myself for some pain, but there was only the mildest stretching sensation and the dildo slid right into my ass. “So fucking good” i texted to my Master. i put a pillow under my ass to hold the dildo in place, and fucked my ass with it by moving my ass up and down while playing with my nipples.

i reached into my drawer and pulled out a pair of clothepins, clamping one onto each nipple. i was so aroused and so high from my arousal that they barely hurt going on. And i wanted them to hurt, wanted that pain to mingle with my pleasure and the agony of my arousal. So i set out to leave them there long enough that they would hurt. i knelt and fantasized about my Master’s upcoming visit, and imagined Him doing all of these things – and worse – to me. It hadn’t been long enough yet, when another thought occurred to me. The perfect way to pass the time waiting for my nipples to go numb under the clothespins was… to put on more clothespins. So i did, adding another 5 to each breast and taking a picture and sending it to my Master when i was done.

i took the clothespins off in the reverse order of putting them on, so the pain intensified with each pair. My nipples were last, and i inhaled sharply and moaned when they came off, and immediately started rubbing them to intensify the pain of the blood coming back in. All while i was fucking myself with the dildo in my ass.

Completely spent, i put the clothespins away and went into the bathroom to take the dildo out and clean up. i was completely high and shaking from the endorphins and my arousal. i made it it back to the bedroom and collapsed into bed, then pulled myself to kneeling to meditate for my Master. i felt every inch of my body filled with my submission, and the knowledge that my sluttiness and degradation and desperation would please Him very much.

And then i tried to sleep. But i couldn’t really, and when late at night i found myself awake, i decided that i should continue to tease and torment myself for my Master. i was lying on my side, thighs together, hips rocking as i rubbed my nipples. i had time to think “i should probably stop doing…” when – damn it all – another unplanned orgasm took over my body.


i was so angry at myself for allowing this to happen. it’s going to be a very long time before my next orgasm, i know. And the regret i’m feeling about it now is going to pale in comparison to the regret i’m going to feel when my Master is through with me. i don’t know yet what my punishment will be, but i’m already dreading it. While at the same time looking forward to it as an opportunity for forgiveness and absolution.