As i wrote about in my other post about our visit, i was really sick when my Master was visiting a couple of weeks ago. Saturday night i was so sick that i just needed to lie in bed and doze. We couldn’t figure out where to get good homemade chicken noodle soup, so i had the idea to get some udon as the next best thing, and asked Him to go off and pick it up so i could stay in bed.
Which all just seems horribly unsubmissive.
There are a lot of different ways to “do” D/s. i get emails from other subs all the time, and i enjoy getting them. It’s not uncommon, though, for them to include something along the lines of “but some people would say we’re not doing “true” D/s”. And i understand that position – i read blogs and can’t help but compare myself and my D/s relationship to what i read in them. And it’s easy for a sub to come up wanting, to feel like there’s this gold standard of D/s, this ideal of perfect submission, that she will never reach.
But the reality is that D/s relationships are just that – relationships. Some – like my relationship with my Master, like Amy and Richard at 24.7, like little girl Persephone to owners Andrew and Morgan, and lots of others – are love relationships. But even those come in wildly different flavors – polyamorous, monogamous, gay, straight. Others are decidedly not love relationships – the sadly missed Puppy Tales is probably the best example of this, but Katie – Spanking and Submission is another. Once i would have said that about Married Man’s Fucktoy, but i don’t know how i’d categorize that relationship now. There may indeed be love in those relationships, but it is not allowed to be spoken, and is not the point.
Just like vanilla relationships, D/s relationships come in a million flavors. And they are all as real, and as true, as any other. It’s okay if your D/s relationship doesn’t include endurance training, or piss training, or any other kind of training. It’s okay if you’ve never felt the sting of a flogger or a crop, and a bare hand spanking is all you can or want to take – or give. D/s is about the people in the relationship, relating to each other, exchanging power, building trust, giving, taking, loving, hurting. If you’re doing it, and it feels right, it’s okay.
Sometimes it’s even okay to send your Dom out for sushi.