Archive for February, 2008

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Sending your Dom out for sushi

February 29, 2008

As i wrote about in my other post about our visit, i was really sick when my Master was visiting a couple of weeks ago. Saturday night i was so sick that i just needed to lie in bed and doze. We couldn’t figure out where to get good homemade chicken noodle soup, so i had the idea to get some udon as the next best thing, and asked Him to go off and pick it up so i could stay in bed.

Which all just seems horribly unsubmissive.

There are a lot of different ways to “do” D/s. i get emails from other subs all the time, and i enjoy getting them. It’s not uncommon, though, for them to include something along the lines of “but some people would say we’re not doing “true” D/s”. And i understand that position – i read blogs and can’t help but compare myself and my D/s relationship to what i read in them. And it’s easy for a sub to come up wanting, to feel like there’s this gold standard of D/s, this ideal of perfect submission, that she will never reach.

But the reality is that D/s relationships are just that – relationships. Some – like my relationship with my Master, like Amy and Richard at 24.7, like little girl Persephone to owners Andrew and Morgan, and lots of others – are love relationships. But even those come in wildly different flavors – polyamorous, monogamous, gay, straight. Others are decidedly not love relationships – the sadly missed Puppy Tales is probably the best example of this, but Katie – Spanking and Submission is another. Once i would have said that about Married Man’s Fucktoy, but i don’t know how i’d categorize that relationship now. There may indeed be love in those relationships, but it is not allowed to be spoken, and is not the point.

Just like vanilla relationships, D/s relationships come in a million flavors. And they are all as real, and as true, as any other. It’s okay if your D/s relationship doesn’t include endurance training, or piss training, or any other kind of training. It’s okay if you’ve never felt the sting of a flogger or a crop, and a bare hand spanking is all you can or want to take – or give. D/s is about the people in the relationship, relating to each other, exchanging power, building trust, giving, taking, loving, hurting. If you’re doing it, and it feels right, it’s okay.

Sometimes it’s even okay to send your Dom out for sushi.

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Best Dom Ever!

February 27, 2008

i am the luckiest sub ever there was, truly i am.

My Master is away this week. And by away, i mean really away. No phone, no net. In short, no contact at all, for over a week.

This might not seem like a big deal, until you realize that a day in which we only exchange 40 emails and only talk on the phone once is a light day. We’ve known this trip was coming, and i’ve been really dreading it, but preparing myself to make my way through an oh-so-lonely week.

So imagine my surprise when i woke up this morning to an email from my Master! And a couple of hours later, another one. Then a couple of text messages. And more email. He’s set something up to send me notes and instructions that He pre-wrote for me. (Edited to add: the site he used is Letter Me Later.) This is incredibly thoughtful and sweet and makes me feel very cherished and submissive and like the luckiest girl in the world. Especially since my Master was quite sick last week, because i infected him with the flu when He was visiting me, so He was probably setting all of it up between fever-induced naps.

He told me before that we were going to use this trip to deepen my submission to Him. And in one of His emails to me today, He asked me to write back to Him, and tell Him how this week will make me a better submissive. i am going to spend my week remembering that i serve my Master even when He is nowhere near me and can’t contact me. i’m just now finally getting over my own illness, so it’s been over 2 weeks now since i’ve felt healthy enough to be able to fulfill all my daily rituals. i haven’t been going to work, so there’s been no clothes to photograph and email Him about – just the same pajama shirt and velour lounge pants. And most nights i was too sick to even think about kneeling. But now that i’m feeling better i’m looking forward to getting back into my place, knowing i can rely on my Master and my rules to guide me, even if it’s not in real time!

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You get what you need

February 18, 2008

You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You get what you need

My Master came to visit this weekend. And, as luck would have it, i was sick as the proverbial dog the entire time. Runny nose, really annoying hacking cough, fever, the works. Very sexy, as you might imagine (ie. not!). But we discovered fairly early on that sex – vaginal or oral – would make my cough go away. So there was a lot of that.

i love it when my Master fucks me. These days, that usually involves Him spreading my legs and shoving His cock into my pussy straight up to the hilt in one stroke. The feeling of that is so intense i can’t even begin to describe it, and it usually lasts for a few strokes before things loosen up a little. But until that happens i’m moaning and shaking and utterly incapable of answering the questions He seems to love to ask just then. It’s kind of like pain and a lot like pleasure, and well, just mmmm. We used to go through a lot of lube in our pre-D/s sex life. Now the lube bottle never even makes an appearance, yet somehow i’m always wet and ready for that single long slide in.

So yes, lots of very yummy sex. But, not wanting to stress my body out too much, extended bondage/discipline play was off the table for the weekend. On Sunday, i asked my Master if this meant i had to go into our next visit already at the count of 4, and He said that yes, that’s what that meant. So i shall have to be a very good submissive between now and then and not let it get higher! And then i opined to Him that it was really too bad i was sick, because i was sort of in the mood for a spanking.

Later, i tried to manipulate my way into one, posing on the bed in just my panties and bra, on my hands and knees, thinking He’d find it hard to resist my ass. But He was not taking that bait. Instead, He rolled me over so that i was lying on my back on top of him, then rubbed my clit until i was mewling helplessly. Then He sent me off to put on a proper pair of shoes for fucking (4-inch stilettos, of course) and a better bra (i had been wearing a Victoria’s Secret push up bra, and those things are armor plated). i ran off to obey, and when i got back into bed was rewarded with that long hard thrust into my cunt.

For a moment i lost myself in the sensation of Him pounding into me, but i came back to myself quickly when i felt the leather slapper on the end of the riding crop at my lips. “Kiss it,” He ordered me. “Beg me to use it on You.” i did, kissing and begging, and begging and kissing, but also thinking “But this wasn’t what i had in mind at all!” You see, i’d wanted a spanking. A nice over-the-knee, hand-on-ass spanking. Lots of thud and a nice easy rhythm. Kind of like a massage, just kinkier.

Instead, i got a rain of crop blows on my ass cheeks, on my upper back and on my breasts as my Master fucked me.

Because sometimes, you don’t get what you want – you get what you need. And what i needed was to remember my place. What i needed was to give Him what He needed to take from me. And so give i did.

My ass was bright red in the bathroom mirror when He was done with me, and when i told Him this, His response was “About time.” And as i sit down today on a slightly sore bottom, and as i hack and cough, wishing He was here to sex my cough away, i am reminded of so many wonderful things, and how lucky i am to be His.

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Gratuitous Picture Post

February 14, 2008

Because i feel bad that i’ve been neglecting my blog. And hey, i just realized it’s Thursday, so i guess i can call this my HNT contribution!

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i’m very much looking forward to assuming this position tomorrow.

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Ominous Counting

February 12, 2008

There’s a lot of ominous counting going on in my life right now. It started when i missed my bedtime one night, and Master replied with an emailing saying “Let’s keep count then. That’s 1.”

i’m up to four now. 2 was forgetting to send Him a description or pictures of the clothes i was wearing. 3… well, i probably should gotten multiple numbers for 3, because i was needy and selfish and not behaving as a submissive should, and well, the less said about that the better. 4 i just got right now, for forgetting my smartballs at home. And really, coming off the heels of 3 just yesterday, i should have been on my absolute best behavior and dotting all my i’s and crossing all my t’s, not being sloppy, so i’m really disappointed in myself for not doing better.

On the positive side, i’m also counting down the number of days until i see my Master again, and that number is now a joyous 3. i expect i’ll find out then what this ominous counting is going to translate into, and in the meantime, i really really need to be on my best slavegirl behavior and not let the ominous number get any higher.

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Shoe Slut

February 9, 2008

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I am imagining you standing in the middle of the room at a posh cocktail party. You’re blindfolded, and your arms are tied behind your back. You’re wearing a cute little red tank top, that schoolgirl skirt you have, and your red pumps. No underwear.

You stand there, silent and not moving, listening to the party all around you. Once in a while someone touches you, or lifts your skirt to examine your pussy, or lifts your top to examine your tits. Maybe someone pinches your nipples, or your ass. Or sticks their finger in your cunt. You’re wet and aroused, but you don’t move.

This is a fantasy we indulge in quite frequently, and one i find incredibly hot. Being objectified, being used, being the entertainment at His party. Just reading what He’d written me made me drip.

You hear people talking about you. “Can you believe what a slut she is?” “Look at how wet her pussy is.” “Go ahead. Stick that up her pussy. She won’t mind. She likes it, even.”

And i know i would. i know that i would be wet already, and even wetter when i heard people saying those things about me, felt them touching and using my body. My face would be as red as my shirt with embarrassment and humiliation, but i would crave being touched and used even more. If i were allowed to speak, i’d be begging people to touch me more, or to fuck me with their hands or cocks or shoes or objects.

But you wouldn’t be able to speak. You’re pushed forward, and find yourself caught by a small cushioned ottoman. Your legs are spread apart, and your cunt is stuffed with something – you have no idea what. It’s hard; maybe it’s a shoe. It’s definitely a shoe in your mouth, though. You hear a woman say: “I heard she has a shoe fetish. Look at the way she sucks on it.”

And i do have a shoe fetish. Now. i never used to, but He’s planted it in my head in that way that He does. Now i look at women’s shoes and fantasize about kissing them and sucking them, fantasize about the feel of them in my cunt.

You’d be very wet, especially as you hear people talking and laughing all around you. “I wonder if she take take it in her ass,” someone says. “Of course she can. A slut like that wears a butt plug all the time.” Then you feel something thin and pointy penetrating your ass. “Keep sucking,” someone says. And you do.

i love sucking on shoes. i love it when my Master is fucking me, and stuffs a shoe in my mouth. i love it because it is His, this fetish, and He has given it to me, one of the many gifts He has given me.

The shoe is pulled out of your mouth, and you’re momentarily gasping. It’s quickly replaced by another, this one covered in pussy juice. “Clean yourself off,” you hear someone say. And you do. Another hard toe is pushing in and our of your pussy, and you can feel the sole of another shoe on your ass as the heel is pushed into your asshole. “Don’t let her come,” someone says. “She’s more fun when she’s aching.” You hear people talking about you, laughing at you. “That’s a shoe slut,” someone else says.

I’m in my office, reading these emails, my cunt wet and dripping, my breath coming a little faster with my desire to be that shoe slut, to make fantasy reality. My Master tells me to play with myself, to make my real-world arousal match my fantasy arousal. i’m wearing the red stiletto pumps that i’m wearing in the fantasy, and at His instruction, i take one off and bring it to my face, smelling it, kissing it, licking it.

He tells me to beg Him to let me orgasm at my desk, and god knows i am desperate to do so, with this beautiful fantasy swimming in my mind and my fingers on my nipples driving my arousal higher. i tell him i wish i could fuck myself with these shoes. But sadly, these are wearing shoes, as he reminds me.

That’s why you have special shoes to masturbate with. Did you ever think you would own special shoes to masturbate with? You’re such a shoe slut.

And He’s right. i am. A shoe slut. HIS shoe slut. i set the shoe down on my desk. i pull my pants down and kneel next to my desk so that i can continue to smell and kiss and lick the shoe while i masturbate, rubbing my clit as i fuck myself as He tells me to, with the yellow highlighter that i’ve used for this countless times before.

i pant and moan, quietly, not knowing if there’s anyone in the offices next to mine. i whisper my desire and need to be His shoe slut, i beg for His permission to come, and then i do, kneeling there on the floor, my lips on a beautiful red shoe.