Archive for the ‘task’ Category

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If you want one tonight…

February 25, 2010

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Last night, i got an email from my Master.

“If you want one tonight, petition me for an orgasm. Do it properly.”

i have been quite horny lately, so i really did want an orgasm. i thought about my words for a while and wrote Him two sentences. “Please Sir, may Your slavegirl please give You a dirty dirty orgasm tonight? With clothespins on her breasts and a big purple dildo in her cunt like the slutty little girl she is and wants to be?” i pondered whether i needed to add more, but decided that straightforward and to the point would do.

When my Master got back online, it was with this message “I was all set to refuse you, yet you managed to convince me. I’m impressed.” Of course i was really thrilled that i had managed to please him so much with my words. And pretty happy that i was going to get to have a nice orgasm before bed!

After receiving my Master’s permission, bedtime became even more enticing, so i headed up early, got ready for sleep, and climbed in under my warm covers. i got out the Hitachi, dildo, lube, and the clothespins.

i was really aroused already, but decided a little warm up wouldn’t hurt. i buzzed the vibe against my clit and rubbed my super-hard, super-erect nipples until i knew that if i kept going i’d come. Then i turned the vibe off, lubed up the dildo, and slid it into my cunt. Sometimes i have to work a bit to get it in, but not this time – between my arousal and the lube it slid straight in, til it was nestled deep inside of me.

i rested the head of vibe against my clit again, but didn’t turn it on. Just let the weight of it keep my clit at attention as i rubbed my nipples some more and began clipping clothespins onto my breasts. 4 on each, spaced as evenly as i could around each nipple. When everything was in place i turned the vibe on. As i thrust my hips to move the dildo inside of me i tugged and pushed at the clothespins, interspersing playing with my nipples. i was fantasizing about a recent first date my Master had let me have, and wondering if this new guy’s cock would be long and lean like the rest of his body, and if our bodies would fit together as well fucking as they do dancing.

By this point i was flying high, riding the edge of orgasm, trying to keep the sensations going as long as i could. i shifted my thoughts to my Master, imagining Him putting the clothespins on (and taking them off) and His cock in my cunt. When i finally felt myself falling over the edge into orgasm i grabbed the clothespins on my breasts and pulled them off, while simultaneously begging my Master for permission to come (feeling a bit bad because i already was, but it had taken me a bit by surprise).

After, my cunt was so sensitive i was squirming to get away from the vibe still on my clit. i turned it off, slid the dildo out, unclipped stray clothespins that i’d missed earlier, and breathed a deep sigh of deep satisfaction. Then i pulled myself up on my knees to kneel for my Master, giving thanks for the gift He’d given me (and let me give Him) and thinking about how i would write it up for him (and my blog, as instructed) the next day. Then i kissed His bracelet and curled up to sleep.

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Stress Reliever

December 30, 2009

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When we’re apart and my Master is stressed, He often expresses how He wishes i were there to help Him relax. i know that spanking and fucking are both good stress release for Him. In my fantasies, i’m able to get to Him wherever He is. As soon as He sees me, He pulls me across His knees and launches into spanking me. Probably fast and furious at first, to take the edge off, then steady and rhythmic, using the pace to relax. By the time He flips me over and starts spanking my cunt He’s more under control, really able to enjoy Himself and my reactions. Then, when my cunt is hot and red, He slides the head of His hard cock into my cunt, then pushes Himself in with one hard stroke. He fucks me, maybe fast, maybe slow, but definitely deliberately, never stopping or letting back until He releases His come into my cunt and collapses on top of me.

Seems like that would help relieve a lot of stress.

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Anticipation

November 25, 2009

As soon as my Master sent me a link the image below, i knew it was only a matter of time before He was going to have me order one. And then, just a matter of time before our next visit and i would be wearing it.

i was right, of course, and the shoe gag now sits in my bedside table, waiting the three weeks until i’ll be seeing Him next. In the meantime, He’s instructed me to write about my thoughts about it.

From the first time He sent it to me i’ve gotten pretty turned on thinking about it. Mostly because it’s just such a perfect fantasy fulfillment device for Him, and i know it’s going to make Him so hot and so happy to see me like that. That desire to please Him combines with my own feelings, which are, shall we say, less enthusiastic. i don’t like gags. They make my jaw sore, and i really can’t stand the way they make me drool – it’s so gross! Plus, i know that we have another D/s event coming up in a few months, and given His love of exposing me in different ways, i suspect i’ll be making an appearance in public wearing this. Which will be embarrassing and humiliating.

But in that strange way that D/s works, the equation “desire to please” plus “dread, angst, and fear of humiliation” equals really hot. So every time i think about that thing, i get butterflies in my stomach and wet in my cunt. Which is, of course, exactly what my Master would like of me, so i expect He’s pretty pleased right now.

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Good influence

September 28, 2009

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My Master has been a very good influence on me over these last few years. He’s helped me to understand myself better, so i can make better choices about my life and what i want from it. He’s influenced my dress and appearance in ways that make me happier with myself, and more professional-looking too (when he’s not making me look slutty, that is). He’s taught me a great deal about food and wine. Through our occasional travels and my vicarious experience of His, He’s made me more worldly. He’s made me more self-aware, so i observe my strengths and weaknesses, and try to work on maximizing the former and mitigating the latter. He’s helped my sexuality bloom, and taught me how to fantasize. i am a very lucky girl to have such a positive influence in my life.

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Lucky

June 22, 2009

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i am lucky to have a Master who loves me so deeply and takes such good care of me. i am lucky to have a Master who is tolerant of my mistakes and helps me learn from them and do better in the future. i am lucky to have a Master who is so handsome and so fantastic a lover. i am lucky to have You in my life, supporting me financially and emotionally and making my life better in countless ways. i am lucky to have had someone to guide me and celebrate with me as i rediscover my femininity and rejoice in my new body.

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Giving thanks

February 3, 2009

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Your slavegirl is very happy that You have made her Yours. She greatly appreciates the opportunity to be of service to You, and always looks forward to ways that she can demonstrate her love and commitment. She is immensely grateful for all the ways that You support her, emotionally and otherwise. She knows that she has become a better and stronger person through being Your submissive and walking this path with You, and she thanks You for that beautiful gift above all others. She needs to remember to use that new strength and focus in her service to You, as well as in the other areas of her life that have benefited from it. Your slavegirl appreciates Your kindness and generosity and willingness to put up with her mistakes and teach her the same lesson over and over again.

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Ten things

January 15, 2009

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My Master and i are seeing each other this weekend. He asked me for a list of 10 things i was looking forward to. i immediately fell into overthinking mode, and started worrying about making the list contain consistent kinds of items, and thinking about what order i should put them in. As soon as i realized i was doing that, i (virtually) slapped my own hand, and just started writing down the first ten things i thought of. Submission, for me, is really about doing and NOT thinking.

1. A nice dinner out
2. Being on display at the club
3. Kissing
4. Your cock in my cunt
5. Taking whatever punishment You want to give this time
6. Practicing being more submissive more consistently during our time
together instead of dropping in and out
7. You dressing me up and taking me to the bar
8. Girl-watching with You
9. Waking up next to You
10. Your cock in my mouth

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Hi, my name is lyn, and i’m an overthinker.

January 9, 2009

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My Master regularly accuses me (and correctly so) of overthinking. The other night we had a miscommunication about my trying on some clothes we’d ordered and sending Him pictures, and i overthought myself into NOT trying them on because He wasn’t online, despite Him telling me that i should. When He came back on, after spending on hour looking forward to seeing the pictures, i was already in bed, and He was one very disappointed Master.

More frequently, it comes in the context of  Him telling me to just “be/act submissive,” and me getting all caught up in worrying that i don’t know how. What i’m worried abou really, is doing it *wrong*. i have a little bit of an obsession with doing things right, and right the first time. i don’t like learning curves, and the fact that i struggle sometimes with my submission frustrates me.

Which is, of course, the completely wrong way to think about it, because submission is a journey, not a destination. And, the first lesson He taught me (and continues to try to teach me, slow learner that i am, at least on this topic) is that submission is about letting go.  And overthinking is pretty much the antithesis of submitting.

Coming out of this most recent overthinking debacle, my Master instructed me to write him something about overthinking. “It doesn’t have to be long,” he said. “It can be  stream of consciousness. But it has to be before you go to bed tonight.”

i got two sentences written before i started overthinking about overthinking, so i stopped there and sent it on to Him. As short and sweet as it is, i think it’s a pretty good mantra for those times where i find myself struggling to figure out what to do.

Sometimes i try to hard to figure out what exactly You want from me, and that keeps me from doing anything. Where it would be better for me to just do it, and accept correction or adjustment from You if i was mistaken or didn’t get it quite right.

Let go. Let go of outcomes. Do my best, with submission and pleasing my Master as my goal, and accept that sometimes i will do it wrong. And that that’s okay.

Thank You, Sir.

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Encircled

January 1, 2009

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Your slavegirl feels very lucky to have been given such a beautiful and delicate bracelet. It is as beautiful as the love she feels for You every minute of every day. It is delicate, but also strong, like the bonds of Your dominance and her submission. It wraps itself around her like You wrap her up in Your protective embrace. It is a symbol of the deep and abiding connection that You and she share, and Your slavegirl is priviliged to have it on her wrist, where she can draw upon it as a physical embodiment of that connection and Your love.

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A shoe slut fantasy

November 17, 2008

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We’ve hung out, reconnected, shared a meal, and talked a little about what the parameters for the visit are. i’m nervous, tense about serving two masters, but You assure me that if i serve her well, that i am serving You through that.

It’s time. i’m told to strip off my clothes and i do. She begins to tie me up as at La Domaine, but this time paying even more attention to creating something that is beautiful and functional. You play with me a little as she works, touching my cunt and nipples, but mostly i just zone out into the rhythm of the rope work. When she’s done my arms are bound securely and helplessly. The rest of me is free to move, but encircled in rope, ready to be used to position me in any way that’s needed.

She uses the rope to bind me to a cross (that has miraculously appeared in my living room…) and begins to play with me. First a gentle warmup with hands and flogger, but soon moving to a level of impact play that is harder than what You are usually comfortable giving. As i writhe and struggle against me bonds, and breathe into and through the pain, i feel You stroking my hair, kissing me, touching me face, telling me what a good girl i am.

Just as i feel i can’t possibly take any more, it’s over. i hardly notice her untying my hands, making sure the blood is working it’s way back in, and i am still very securely bound as i slump down into a little puddle on the floor.

More kisses and stroking from You, lips on my lips, hands in my hair, then on my nipples, then at my cunt. You spread my legs, and i feel the tip of a pointy toed shoe touch my cunt, then pull away.

“Beg for it, shoe slut. You know you want it, beg me for it.”

i spread my legs wide and summon my voice from where it has retreated deep inside. i am shaking a little from the flogging, but wet and horny, and i do want it. it’s all i’ve been thinking about since we met for dinner. i beg her for it, beg her to fuck my cunt with her shoe, beg her to make me her shoe-fucking slut.

A few thrusts, rubbing the tip of the shoe against my swollen clit, dipping it into my cunt, then she stops. “i like my sluts wetter than this. If your cunt can’t do it, then You’ll have to use Your mouth” she says, and brings her shoe to my lips.

i lick it, tasting myself, tasting my wetness, adding my own saliva to it, knowing that the wetter i make the shiny patent, the better it is going to feel when that shoe touches my cunt again.

i must have done a good job, because in a moment she’s got the shoe between my legs again, working it against my clit. You move me into a better position, and soon i’m thrusting against her, moaning and writhing. You lean in to kiss me, taking my breath a little as You envelope my mouth with Your own.

i feel an orgasm begin to come. i don’t know who to ask for permission, so i blurt it out to both of You. “Please, Sir, please Mistress, please may i come for You?”

“Are You going to come on my shoe? You’ll have to clean it off, You know.”

“Yes, Mistress, yes, yes, yes…”

She works my clit harder, more directly, and with Your hands on my nipples and Your voice in my ear telling me to come for for You, to come for You now, i do.

i cry out, loud and long, the orgasm carrying me away. The contractions have only begun to fade away when i feel her hand on the back of my neck, pushing my face down to her shoe. i know what to do, and carefully lick every inch of it clean, tasting me all over her beautiful shoe.