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3 days

October 6, 2008

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Some day, i hope that the stars align to allow me to give all of my attention to preparing for my Master’s arrival. But He comes in 3 days, and as is too often the case, i am stressed and overly busy, and not able to give my preparation the attention it deserves. Oh, and – of course – i’m pre-menstrual, which always makes me flail about and feel a great sense of futility about it all.

My Master doesn’t ask very much of me. My long list of rules mostly comes down to being mindful. And i haven’t been mindful lately. One day i left my camera’s memory card at home. Today, i left my camera at home completely. There are always “reasons” to fall back on, but they’re really just excuses for not being mindful, and i don’t even try to make them anymore. i just apologize and try to do better, and feel disappointed in myself when i fail to do that.

In 3 days He’ll be here. In my new home, with me. i’ve got three days to get myself ready emotionally and physically to submit to Him and serve Him as i have promised to do. 3 days to focus what time i can on Him, and on being the best submissive i can. Knowing that as overwhelming as it can feel to try to “fit that in,” if i do it i’ll be richly rewarded by feeling closer to Him, and knowing that i have served Him well and given Him what He needs from me.

23 comments

  1. I’m also dealing with a long-distance situation right now, and believe me, I know how crazy it can be to get ready for his visits. Take a few deep breaths, and remember that its about spending time together, even if not everything is perfect.

    This is coming from the girl who will most certainly be freaking out in two weeks when her Daddy is almost here! 😛


  2. I’m sure you’ll fall right into it once he gets there and I hope you have a good time. I know I’ve never commented before, but I’ve been reading for a while now and think it’s amazing that you can keep up with this long distance stuff as it is. Best of luck with it all.


  3. your job is to do everything you can to please your master. every breath, every thought.

    follow your rules, live to serve, and you’ll be fine.

    oh, and post pics and video on the blog… that makes your master really happy (he told me so.)


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  12. This may seem like a silly comment, but do you ever actually *wear* the shoes in your photos? They always seem fresh out the box. Nice Stuart Weitzman’s, though!


  13. That’s an interesting question you ask, k…

    We take advantage of my Master’s visits to order a bunch of shoes to try on. But a lot of them end up getting returned.

    (Including these Weitzman’s, in fact.)

    However, rest assured that i have about 25 pairs of hot looking shoes in my closet that i do wear. It’s just that we mostly photograph the new ones…


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