Archive for the ‘rules’ Category

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Building the Anticipation

September 16, 2010

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A few months ago now my Master and i had a big discussion about our relationship and the rules that govern it. Some things just weren’t working for either of us, and we needed to figure out what the right path moving forward was. One of the things that came out of that discussion was that i am no longer forbidden from masturbating or having an orgasm without permission. The other was that my Master is no longer sending me instructions every night, just when there’s something that matters to him.

In the days leading up to our last visit i didn’t have any explicit instructions. i was feeling really sexual and anticipating my Master’s arrival, and so even though i knew that i could have an orgasm if i wanted too, i also knew that the sex would be much better if i didn’t. And, then i thought that the sex would be even better if i imposed a little orgasm denial torture on myself first.

So for the last 2 or 3 nights before my Master’s arrival, at bedtime every night i would fire up my vibrator, take myself to the edge of orgasm, then turn it off. Wait a few beats, then do it again. Repeat until my whole body was crying out for an orgasm, and then i’d put it away.

By the time i picked my Master up at the airport on Friday morning, my cunt was on high alert, my cunt lips swollen and engorged, my clit begging for attention. All i could think about was having my Master’s cock in my pussy. But my Master likes to savor that first fuck. So i slowly undressed him, playing with and sucking his nipples as i went. i teased and licked and sucked his cock. When finally He slid his cock into me, we were both so close to orgasm it didn’t take long. He began to fuck me, i slid a finger down between my folds, and in just a couple of minutes i was begging for permission as my cunt spasmed around Him just seconds after He’d come.

And that was well worth all the anticipation.

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Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 12

September 16, 2008

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12. When we are together, I own you completely and totally. I control everything about you: every aspect of your body and mind. You are my sub, my slave, my slut, my pet, my toy, and anything else I want you to be. You will do everything I ask without question or hesitation, both in private and in public. This ownership and control will take will take different forms at different times, but it is mine to decide.

We manage this long-distance thing pretty darn well, i think, in no small part thanks to all these rules that help structure our relationship. But i never feel more Your submissive than when we are together and i can be used for Your pleasure, in whatever way You desire. i crave that opportunity to serve You, and only wish i had more chances to demonstrate my submission that way. But i am thankful for every visit we are able to have, and i can’t wait to see You tomorrow.

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Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 11

September 15, 2008

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11. You are to carry your cell phone with you at all times. You are to carry your smart balls, anal plug, and two clothespins with you as well. If you want to carry a smaller purse, you are required to ask permission.

When it comes to my phone, i don’t always follow this rule well. i don’t take my cell phone to dinner, for example. i’m sorry, Sir. i do better about having the other objects with me, although sometimes when i’m traveling i do worry about going through security with them. Fortunately the TSA has only gone poking around my little black bag once…

It’s like my little black bag of remote control – i never know when You’re going to demand i pull one toy or the other out and use it to please You.

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Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 10

September 14, 2008

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10. You are to treat me with proper respect. You are to address me as “Sir,” and observe proper capitalization protocol in your e-mails to you and in other areas of your D/s life, such as blog posts and your e-mails to contacts from that life. This includes capitalizing “You” and related words, “He” and related words, “Sir,” and “Master.” You are to refer to yourself only in the lower case, and the tone of your e-mails, phone conversation, and in-person conversations are to reflect your status.

i was as surprised as anyone when i approached You about capitalization oh-so-long ago. i’d always thought that sort of thing seemed silly. But then i found great meaning in it. Now, writing this way has become habit, so it’s less of a potent reminder than it used to be. But it is something that i have to be aware of all the time, not just when i’m writing to You, but when i’m not, and have to adjust my capitalization for the rest of the world. It’s interesting to note that there are some people who i almost never use the wrong mode with.

As for addressing You, i love love love calling You Sir. It just feels so right to me. The times that i have use Your given name (calling You from across a store, or something) i always trip over my tongue just a little bit.

When You gave me this rule, i was so pleased with the way that You structured it around respect. Because it really is a mark of the great respect i have for You and how privileged i feel to be Your submissive and have You as part of my life.

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Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 9

September 12, 2008

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9. Every night, after masturbation if you do so, you are to spend some time on your knees meditating on your submissiveness, my ownership of you, and anything we talked about or did that day. You are to kneel facing my direction, wherever I happen to be in the world. In the morning, you are to write about it as well.

i like this ritual a lot. When i’m having a hard time with my submission, it’s the time when i’m usually able to puzzle out what’s really going on, although it may take a few nights. When i’m secure in my submission, it gives me an opportunity to relax, focus and center myself before going to sleep, which is an incredible gift. Sometimes i think really deep thoughts and come away with great insight, other times i struggle to keep my focus amidst a flurry of other things running through my head. But always i am happy to reconnect to You and to my submission to You.

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Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 8

September 11, 2008

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8. When you receive instructions via e-mail or SMS, you are to carry them out immediately, given the realities of your day. You are to promptly write me with details when you are done, including photographs if required, or an explanation of when you can do them if you cannot.

Anywhere, anything, anytime. That is what i’ve promised You, and i try to deliver it by following this rule. Sometimes when instructions come from out of the blue i’m not in the right head space. i might get a little frustrated, really not feeling in the mood to wear a butt plug, for example. But i give myself an attitude adjustment, remind myself that i serve You best by obeying You immediately and unquestioningly, and do what You have asked of me. And then thank You for the opportunity to be of service.

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Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 7

September 10, 2008

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7. I own you throughout your day. You are to kiss my bracelet as the first thing you do in the morning, and the last thing you do at night. You are to send me both a “good morning” and “good night” e-mail or SMS. You are to make time for me, more so the days you do not have parenting responsibilities. You are to tell me the schedule of your day, every morning. If things change, you are to tell me. You are also to keep me up to date on your whereabouts: when you do things: when you leave the house, when you go into meetings, when you leave work, and so on.

It’s good that we’re doing this in depth review of the rules, because i had forgotten about the morning bracelet addition to this one. But what a wonderful way to start my day! i will start tomorrow.

i love how my service to You bookends my days and gives them structure. And i like that i don’t have to feel guilty or conflicted about my time spent in service to You anymore. That’s enormously freeing.

Ever since You explained to me about not liking to be surprised, i’ve better understood how important it is to keep you apprised of what i’m doing and where i am. It still doesn’t mean i always do it – when i’m tired, or stressed, or distracted, i tend to let it slide. When really i should be better about it at those times, because making that connection to You, expressing my submission to You, is something that will help me to calm down and focus.