Archive for the ‘exchange’ Category

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Eek!

January 4, 2008

>>> I’d like that. I like shopping for you. And it’s going to get
>>> boring having you lie on the floor, a quivering mass of horny slut.

>> i hope i can manage to be a quivering mass of horny slut for You, Sir.

>I don’t mind storing you in the closet if you don’t perform.

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Need, Want, Love

October 26, 2007

“Tell me how much you need me.”

i need You like a plant needs water.

i’ve said it before, but it’s true. i can survive for a time without You, but i get all droopy. Left long enough, my edges start getting all brown and crackly. It’s not a pretty picture. You come along, and You’re like rain, and i feel myself growing, filling out, and flowering.

“Tell me how much you want me.”

i want You with a constant quiet want that occasionally flares up into a desperate desire for immediate gratification. i want You in every moment of my day, in every thing i experience. i want to live for You and with You. i want to be Yours in every way.

“Tell me how much you love me.”

i love You with all my heart. i love You more than anything. i love You with a love that’s astounding in its breadth and depth and intensity. i love You every minute of every day, with every cell of my being.

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On embracing my feminine side…

September 15, 2007

me: i’m a latecomer to the whole girl thing, but i’m learning.

Him: Good.

me: You’re a good inspiration.

Him: You’d better think so.

me: You’re a very good inspiration, Sir. You’ve turned a dyed in the wool no-nonsense feminist into a 4-inch heeled, mini-skirt wearing slutty little girl. i expect You’re very proud of Yourself. 🙂

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More on love

August 18, 2007

Here is my Master’s response to my post on my love for him. Reading it made me cry. Is it any wonder i love Him so much?

I am so filled with love for you I can hardly keep from bursting.

I love you with the full force of my dominance. I want to cover you completely, flowing over every bit of your surface with myself. I want to seep through you, covering every piece of you with myself. I want to force myself between the world and every one of your senses, and between every piece of you and every other piece of you. I want the world to flow through me into you, and for you to flow through me back into the world. I want everything you see, hear, smell, taste, touch, think, and feel to include me. I want to be the medium through which you experience the world and yourself.

You are my sub, my slave, my slut, my pet, and my toy. I love you fiercely. I want to control you and protect you and expose you and release you — all at the same time. I want you to be secure in my love for you, and for you to find ultimate peace in your submission to me.

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Expressions of Love

July 13, 2007

My Master and I have loved each other very much these last few years, but it’s nothing compared to the love we share now that we are owner and slave. It’s so strong it’s almost impossible to describe in words, although different for each of us – his burning, commanding and fierce, and mine a quiet upswelling of love that threatens to overflow me.

Yesterday brought an email with a beautiful gift from my Master, that made me smile and smile, and laugh a little too, at the sweetly geeky intellectualness of it all.

I want to run into you like fresh seawater crashing into a tidepool, filling all the corners of you with the essence of me. I want to seep inside you, like oxygen or sugar. I want you to carry me with you as part of you. I want to rebuild your cells out of me, your mitochondria, your endoplasmic reticulum. You would still be you, but a new you, built partly out of me.

It still makes me smile today.

I love you, sir. Always and forever, utterly and completely.

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Email snippet

June 27, 2007

>> You, Sir, are a very bad influence. Nearly every pair of shoes
>> that caught my eye had a heel far too tall for regular wear.
>> Whatever have you done to me?!

> I’ve turned you into a sub. Haven’t you been paying attention?

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What it means to be submissive

June 13, 2007

>> One more thing: write me a paragraph about what it means to be
>> submissive. Make it clear to me, that in some small way, you’re
>> getting it.

> I am submissive when I am mindful of you in all things. From choosing
> what to pack according to my understanding of what would please you
> best, to folding my clothes carefully in respect for your ownership of
> them. I am submissive when I don’t need to put your wishes and
> desires ahead of my own because your wishes and desires have become
> my own, and my every action and thought is framed by my submission
> to you.

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One Decision

June 8, 2007

> I said a few exchanges ago that you have exactly one decision to make:
> the decision to submit. Look for your center there. When this gets
> scary or confusing or impossible, return to that decision. When you
> find yourself worrying about other decisions, return to that one decision.
> Make it again. Repeat it to yourself, whisper it quietly, shout it if
> you can, write it down. That one decision can wash away the need for
> the others if you let it.
>
> You are my good little girl. You are my sub. You are my property. You
> have given yourself to me.
>
> I am your master and your owner. I control you. Take a deep breath and
> rejoice in that feeling. It’s a feeling you crave; it’s a feeling that
> makes you whole. Tell me these things. Tell me you love me.

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Letting Go

June 8, 2007

>> Thinking back to our visit, I pushed by a lot of asking or begging
>> for something I want. Which is focusing on my needs, not yours, and
>> something I need to change. I know you like it when I beg, so I
>> shouldn’t, I don’t think, get rid of asking entirely, but I need
>> to use it more appropriately.

> You’re right that overcompensating is just as bad. Submissive
> doesn’t mean that you have nothing to say. Submissive doesn’t mean
> that you have nothing to suggest, or contribute, or do. Submissive
> isn’t the same as stupid. It’s an attitude. There are ways to
> research bdsm clubs that are inherently submissive, and there are
> ways that are not. You need to learn the difference.

[snip]

> What you need to “learn not to do that is” how to let go. This is no
> longer your relationship to steer. These are no longer your things
> to decide. You have exactly one decision, and once you’ve made that
> you are done with deciding. What you need to learn is how to make
> peace with it, what it means, and how to remember it both when we are
> interacting and when we are not.

[snip]

> You asked about the difference between “works” and “works.” There is
> a difference, and it’s entirely in your head. You can do the things
> and act the part and feel the tension of unreleased orgasms in your
> uterus, and it will work. Or you can let go and stop steering and
> feel the submission in your head, and it will work on a completely
> different level. This is the one decision you have: to act
> submissive or to be submissive. I can help, I can guide, I can
> correct, but — especially with me so far away so much of the time —
> much of this has to happen in your head.

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Interactive Fantasy

June 5, 2007

>> Today, as I nodded at a man in the hallway, I was wondering about
>> going out to a bar, and seeing if anyone tried to pick me up.

> Depends, in part, on how hot you dress.

>> Indeed. And what kind of bar I went to. I never did the whole bar
>> scene in college, so I have zero experience with that whole mating
>> ritual.

> Maybe someday I’ll dress you up, take you out to a bar, and see whose
> interested in you. I could dress you in a short skirt, an open blouse,
> and heels; perch you on a barstool with an empty drink in front of you;
> and wait for men to take the bait. I’d be sitting across the room,
> watching.

>> Well, that’s all rather hot fantasy material. My fear, of course,
>> would be that it wouldn’t work, and no one would take the bait.

> Of course someone would. These are men, after all. You might even
> have instructions to take the first person who bought you a drink out
> to the back and suck him off.

>> Okay, that’s very hot to imagine, but I don’t know if I could really
>> do that. And even supposing I did/would, couldn’t I be pickier?
>> Would I have to take the first guy?

> You’d have to do what you were told. And if I told you to take the
> first guy, that’s what you would have to do. Or maybe they would have
> to come to me to ask permission.

>> Seems like that might be a turnoff for the guy.

> Maybe. You’ll just have to go out back with the first one, then.

>> How about if we go sit down somewhere and I give him a handjob
>> under the table?

> That would be hot, too. My way is sluttier, though.