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Searching for submission

October 19, 2008

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Thank you to everyone for the kind comments on my last post. Experiencing that moment on my knees was really truly magical, and made me realize how far i have fallen in my submission, how distant i have become from it.

It’s not completely unexpected. If you’ve read my blog for a long time, you may have been able to read between the lines of my recent posts and realize that my husband and i have separated. And while that’s been a really positive thing (for both of us), it’s a huge change in my life, and it’s spilled over into my submission. Add work and other stressors, and in some ways it’s easy to see why things have been slowly declining in intensity over the last few months.

My Master and i have been doing a lot of talking this week, figuring out what’s happened, and what needs to happen to get back to what we both want and need. Or more accurately, my Master is figuring that out. My job is simply to let go, and let Him take me there.

Letting go is the first lesson i need to relearn. It was really hard for me the first time around, but it’s going a little easier this time. That taste on our last visit has energized me to rediscover the center of my submission. It was just such a profound moment for me, and i realized that i need to feel more of that. And i can only feel it by giving myself over completely to the man who owns me, body, mind and soul.

One comment

  1. i’m sure you will be able to rediscover your submission… and i am sure you will enjoy the journey that your Master takes on to get you there…

    *hugs*

    t. x



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