My Master and i have been talking a lot lately about the nature of Dominance and submission. How, if you look too closely at it, it can all seem vaguely ridiculous. But if you just DO, instead of think, there’s tremendous comfort and meaning to be found in the ridiculousness.
My Master likens it to spirituality – you just have to have faith. Faith that these things matter, and that they draw us closer to one another. Since neither of us are spiritual persons, this is a stretch for us. But i feel it, when i let go concern, let go of feeling silly for writing Him an email filled with submissive cliches about how grateful i feel to Him for letting me serve Him, for taking me on this journey that has added so much meaning to my life. He feels it, when as in a line from one of our favorite blog posts, he “tells me do impossible things just so he can watch me try.”
D/s – at least for us – is about making meaning from the meaningless. It’s about context. It’s about sexualizing and eroticizing the everyday and the mundane. The D/s dynamic gives meaning to the actions. And then there’s a feedback loop, as the actions reinforce the meaning. And that dynamic works separately, and intertwined, in both of us.
Maintaining the feedback loop can be hard for us, because of our distance, our busy lives, the many things that can take our attention away from one another. But i am happier – my submission more natural and more fulfilling – when i am able to do it. When i can see every action through the lens of my submission and my Master. This is easy when i am doing things for Him – taking my daily pictures, meditating on my knees – but it doesn’t have to stop there. When i strive to do well in my professional life, i do it in part to represent Him well and make Him proud of me. It’s not my only motivation, but it’s an important one. When i find myself wondering or worrying if my Master would approve of my behavior, i should take heed of that internal warning. When i let my submission surround me and fulfill me without self-consciousness, i serve Him as well as i do on my knees with His cock in my mouth.