It’s all in your head

My Master and i were lucky enough to spend Saturday afternoon playing with the awesome Jade and W.  i may write more about the day, and i know Jade plans to, but what moved me to post to my blog again after over a year away was thinking about the head game.

We originally planned this play date for April, but something came up and things got canceled at the last minute. So the possibility of it has been in my mind for a long time. But that was about it – just the possibility, because my Master and W were solely responsible for the planning. i was not in the loop at all. But there were a few hints dropped here and there, and they were sufficient to set up a pretty intense head game for me.

i knew that my Master had promised me to W to use. He’d told me that i could be beaten, fucked, used – pretty much anything. He’d even implied that my being pissed on was not off the table. So i had a not insignificant amount of trepidation going on in the lead up to the actual day.

What actually happened was a mix of objectification and use and mutually negotiated activities between the four of us, and much fun was had by all. But in the back of my mind the whole day was this idea that W was going to, at some point, fuck me, or make me suck him. And for all my Master and i talk and fantasize a LOT about me being a sex toy for other men to use, up until now i’ve only had (male) sex partners who i had chosen of my own volition. So this idea that it wouldn’t be up to me was at once hot and scary.

Towards the end of the day, i requested and received a really excellent hard flogging/beating from W. And part of what made it so hot was that throughout it i was utterly convinced that when he was done, he was going to use me sexually. But he didn’t. And while a part of me was relieved, to my surprise, a bigger part of me was… disappointed.

And guess what i was thinking about when i masturbated last night?

Well and truly fucked

Both of us a little bit tipsy, when my Master and i got back to our room on Saturday night we fell onto the couch and each other. He fucked me in my fancy dress, its tight straps digging into my shoulders as he used my cunt. i talked dirty to Him, told Him how much i liked Him using me, taking me. When he started slapping my face as He fucked me i was surprised, shocked a little, but i went with it, seeing how much it turned Him on to use me this way, feeling like the object i sometimes yearn to be, the dirty little slut i am inside. Thanks to the alcohol, He wasn’t coming, and He fucked me hard, for a long time, roughly, pounding into my cunt. Done with the couch, He ordered me into the bedroom, and i pulled off my dress along the way, ending up in bed with just my high heels on. He fucked me some more, then pulled out and had me suck Him instead, handing me my sex shoe to use to fuck myself as He used my mouth. i had no idea what He was up to when He suddenly pulled out of my mouth, got out of bed, and went into the other room. But i figured it out quickly as He returned and shoved the neck of a half bottle of wine into my cunt. He fucked me with it as i sucked Him and rubbed my clit with the toe of the shoe, and when orgasm overtook me my mouth was full and i was so overwhelmed that i didn’t even ask for permission. “You didn’t come, did you?” He asked, and i had to admit that i had, and He slapped me again for coming without permission. Shoving His cock back into my cunt, He ordered me to lick the bottle clean, and then the shoe, and as i did that He finally spent himself inside of me and we collapsed into a tangle of arms and legs and love.

(And just thinking about it’s been making me hot ever since.)

[e]lust #22

Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #23? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Erotic asphyxiation: treatments of kink in therapy and the media – Kink and BDSM practitioners often come to an enhanced understanding of their own desires through the emphasis on personal boundaries and communicative consent which arises from a responsible approach to power and pain play.

Mirror, mirror – I found myself back there again, perched on the edge of the white expanse, spreading myself shamelessly in front of the glass

Worry – I’ve been thinking about rape culture more than ever before. On the outside, much of K’s and my play looks like sexual abuse. It’s not, because consent is always central.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

gender and misogyny: responsibility and erotic writing – I spent a good portion of my adult life being gender fluid myself …, and have partnered with several gender fluid folks as a top. Creating representation of us and our eroticism feels so vital to me, so important.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Help End the Backlog – Speaking out works. Taking action works. Silence doesn’t. Politicians on every level need to hear your voice saying “this is unacceptable”. 76%. 3/4. That’s how many rapists get away with it on a national level.

See also: Pleasurists #111 and #112 for all your sex toy review needs

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Writing

A Tryst By The Car
Compliant
Fantasy: Brand New Day
First-Time Sex: How I Lost My Virginity
Happy New Year
Hysteria
Indiscretions Vol. 1: Caught And Wild Chlid
Like Mother, Like Daughter (part two)
Loving her, Mounting her, Owning her
Merry Christmas Baby
O/One
Should Have
The Starlet
Undiscovered
Wax Off
Whenever I’m Alone With You
Yeeees. Date Night

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Breaking Up, Polyamory Style
Computer Sex
Douchebagopolis – When Communication Fails At A Swinger Party
Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2010
Good Head
Hormones & Biological Clock Ticking
Lockets, Sins and Ink
Off My Chest
Swing Shift Volume 39- One and Only
Semi-Rant Part Two

Kink & Fetish

Barely Cooking Christmas Party
Camp Smack That Ass!
Fucked in bondage
Fucking bitch
How He Does It
Master’s Good Medicine
Paddled and Fucked
Parodies and Pizza Boys
Photographer
School Girl Night
shes and me…
You Know It Was Good When…

Disarrayed

A paragraph for my Master

We’re at Winter Fire, and you’ve stationed me by the entrance into one of the rooms. Every time i woman enters i have to ask her if i can kiss her shoes, and then bend and do that. Some are willing to play a peripheral part in the game, and allow me a quick peck before moving on. Others, though, get into it, press my head down to their feet, tell me to lick their shoe, clean it up. A few recognize me from my blog, or heard about our the gangbang class at Kinky Kollege, and they know what i really want. One pushes my legs apart with her shoe and presses her shoe into my crotch. “Beg for it” she tells me, “beg me to rub my shoe against your cunt.” i beg her for exactly that, and she tells me i should show her how much i want it, so i rub myself all over her shoe, until i’m so hot and wet that the toe of her shoe is sticky with my juices and she orders me to lick it clean before she goes on her way.

(And yes, my Master and i are planning to be at Winter Fire in February in DC. Are any readers going and want to meet up?)

Exchange Rate

My Master and i spent a lovely weekend together, with no plans, no schedules, and no commitments to anyone but each other. Saturday afternoon He spent photographing me, then playing with my body, splaying me out over his lap as He clipped clothespins on my breasts. The first few were lovely – a ring around one breast that left the nipple bare. The second ring, around my other breast, was lovely too. As my Master played with one nipple i couldn’t help but bring my own hand up to play with the other – almost nothing turns me on more than both my nipples being stroked and teased, and when He made me tell Him what a slut i was for doing it, that only turned me on more. But soon fingers were replaced with clothespins on those same nipples, and pleasure turned to pain, especially as my Master started playing with the clothespins, batting at them, pushing around with his hands, making the blood being to flow back to deprived tissue, then cutting it off again. One clothespin slipped, tightening on just my skin, rather than the tissue beneath it, and oh, that hurt. That’s when i started to swear, thrash around, even hit my Master a little bit, as He enjoyed the renewed pain that came when He pulled all those clothespins off. You’d have thought i would’ve had enough of clothespins after that, but you’d be wrong… when His playing with other portions of my anatomy had me begging for the chance to use my vibrator shortly thereafter, i quickly agreed to His price – the clothespins again, in exchange for my chance at an orgasm. i can still see some marks from that round today… but i’d pay that exchange rate again.

Wax off

My phone rang in the middle of my waxing, and seeing that it was my Master, i reached out to grab it. And that was when my fabulous aesthetician finally succeeded in freeing a pesky ingrown hair that had been plaguing me. As she started squeezing out the collected inflammation, i couldn’t help but yelp in pain in my Master’s ear. And with His voice in my ear, i couldn’t help but be aware of how similar my yelps were to those i make with my Master, when He yanks the clothespins off, or hits me with the evil stick. And once that thought was in my head, well, i couldn’t help but get a little turned on.

i hung up the phone, but the heat lingered between my legs, and as my aesthetician spread my legs wide to get every lingering hair from the crack of my ass, a trickle of cunt juice slid out of my cunt and onto the blanket beneath me. i knew she couldn’t have helped but notice, and i swear i blushed from head to toe, my voice faltering in the midst of our usual waxing chit chat about sex and kink.

“Wow, that phone call really had an effect on you, didn’t it,” she asked. “I’ve never seen you get quite so worked up before.” i nodded, too embarrassed to speak. “Well,” she said, “good thing that we’re about done here.” And then she slid a finger of her gloved hand down across my clit, and to the slippery opening of my cunt.

i could have closed my legs, ignored the suggestion, moved on to the upcoming facial and eyebrow waxing. But i didn’t. Instead, i spread my legs farther apart. Lifted up my hips to engulf the tip of the finger waiting passively at my opening. And that was all the invitation she needed. First one finger, then another slide into me, as she curled her fingers up to press on my g-spot, while her thumb rubbed my clit. i was hypersensitive from my waxing, and every passing touch on my newly waxed skin only heightened my arousal, as did the voices of the hairstylists chattering on the other side of the thin door. Only a moan escaped from my throat as i came, shuddering around her hand, my hands gripping the sides of the table.

“Okay, turn around and put your head up here now,” she said, indicating the end of the table were the steamer was located, “it’s time to start your facial now.” Just like nothing had ever happened.

[Private to LF, should she see this: The preceding is a work of fiction, not an invitation or a suggestion! And thanks for getting that hair out!]

Pretty Shoes All in a Row

Burberry?

Can you believe these stunning shoes are from Burberry? The only hint is the slight bit of tartan along the sides…

(No, we didn’t keep them.)

Red on Red