Returning to the real world

March 30, 2009

My Master and i spent a wonderful weekend at Beat Me in St Louis, and i am having a hard time getting back into the swing of my normal life. For a lot of people, an event like this is amazing because it feels like “home” to them, because they enjoy that sense of community and belonging that comes with the “gathering of the tribes” as it were. For us, while it was great to be around other kinky people, neither my Master nor i have that strong need for community reinforcement, so that’s not what i’m missing today.

i’m missing Him, a lot. It didn’t occur to me until this morning that i spent probably 90% of the last few days touching my Master. Wherever we were – at a meal, attending a workshop, we were at the very least snuggled up next to each other, and quite frequently i was snuggled up on His lap or draped over Him in some other way.

Also, i was able to be un-restrainedly demonstrative. Even when we are together in vanilla space, we spend most of our time touching each other, by sitting next to each other or holding hands. But in this space, i could give into the urge to kneel at His feet just because i wanted to and needed to, knowing that no one would judge. We could kiss each other, deeply and passionately, expressing all the boundless love we feel for each other.

It was lovely. As we were preparing to part yesterday, He kept commenting on how connected we felt, and in the moment i didn’t really feel it as that different than how we had been before. But now, with that physical connection a fading memory and only the emotional connection in my aching heart to remind me, i know it and remember it, and try to hold onto it until next time.


  1. lyn,

    i understand this feeling. Long distance is hard, Daddy & i did it for 3 yrs, i know you & your Master have done it longer.

    just wanted you to know i am thinking of you…


  2. Thank you, essence. You’d think knowing that it’s always going to be this way (long distance) would make it easier, but it makes it harder, because i can’t help but wish and dream anyway.

  3. I’m glad you were able to enjoy your time with him. Life as a long-distance sub is hard. I can’t imagine what it’s like knowing it always has to be this way.

    hugs to you,
    cutesy pah

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: