3 days

Some day, i hope that the stars align to allow me to give all of my attention to preparing for my Master’s arrival. But He comes in 3 days, and as is too often the case, i am stressed and overly busy, and not able to give my preparation the attention it deserves. Oh, and – of course – i’m pre-menstrual, which always makes me flail about and feel a great sense of futility about it all.

My Master doesn’t ask very much of me. My long list of rules mostly comes down to being mindful. And i haven’t been mindful lately. One day i left my camera’s memory card at home. Today, i left my camera at home completely. There are always “reasons” to fall back on, but they’re really just excuses for not being mindful, and i don’t even try to make them anymore. i just apologize and try to do better, and feel disappointed in myself when i fail to do that.

In 3 days He’ll be here. In my new home, with me. i’ve got three days to get myself ready emotionally and physically to submit to Him and serve Him as i have promised to do. 3 days to focus what time i can on Him, and on being the best submissive i can. Knowing that as overwhelming as it can feel to try to “fit that in,” if i do it i’ll be richly rewarded by feeling closer to Him, and knowing that i have served Him well and given Him what He needs from me.