Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 10

September 14, 2008

10. You are to treat me with proper respect. You are to address me as “Sir,” and observe proper capitalization protocol in your e-mails to you and in other areas of your D/s life, such as blog posts and your e-mails to contacts from that life. This includes capitalizing “You” and related words, “He” and related words, “Sir,” and “Master.” You are to refer to yourself only in the lower case, and the tone of your e-mails, phone conversation, and in-person conversations are to reflect your status.

i was as surprised as anyone when i approached You about capitalization oh-so-long ago. i’d always thought that sort of thing seemed silly. But then i found great meaning in it. Now, writing this way has become habit, so it’s less of a potent reminder than it used to be. But it is something that i have to be aware of all the time, not just when i’m writing to You, but when i’m not, and have to adjust my capitalization for the rest of the world. It’s interesting to note that there are some people who i almost never use the wrong mode with.

As for addressing You, i love love love calling You Sir. It just feels so right to me. The times that i have use Your given name (calling You from across a store, or something) i always trip over my tongue just a little bit.

When You gave me this rule, i was so pleased with the way that You structured it around respect. Because it really is a mark of the great respect i have for You and how privileged i feel to be Your submissive and have You as part of my life.


  1. This has been a wonderful series, with wonderful pictures.

    I am impressed with the way you have adopted and adapted to your rules–you seem to show a lot of grace, some of which I wish I could find for my own submission.

    Given that, I have a question, which I mean in the most respectful manner possible. 😉

    One thing that upsets me about submission–including mine–is the sense that the sub is “privileged” to have the Dom in her life. I can’t help thinking, you know, when it comes down to it, he should feel quite lucky to have ME in his life–not just because he wants to show me off, not just because he wants to own something, but because of me, because I’m unique.

    {Deep breath, those are my worries to work through.}

    Do you feel like your D/s is reciprocal in this way–do you feel like your Sir shows you equal respect, and feels an equal degree of privilege? If he does, how does he show it? That’s a lot to ask but I’m very interested to hear your thoughts, in particular.

  2. sub lyn,
    I adore shoes, and i adore nails, and you’ve been giving your readers a ton of both. Thank you kindly.

    I practice a form of lowercase pronouns myself, but it is for spiritual reasons, and it’s VERY tough to not do so in my personal correspondences. Sometimes i don’t catch it, and i’m sure the person on the receiving end does.

    I’ve never bought that it’s a one way street. Never. If he doesn’t feel lucky, that man is a blowhard which some people take as the exclusive trait of a dominant. Trust me, it’s not.

  3. sera – thank you! i’ve had plenty of challenges adopting and adapting to my rules, but i keep trying and that what matters.

    Fortunately, i have a Master who makes it very clear to me how important i am to Him and how lucky He feels to have me too.

    Deity – i almost felt i didn’t need to answer Sera’s question, you’d done such a good job of it for me. Thank you for giving the Dom’s perspective directly. And i’m glad you’ve been appreciating the recent series of posts/photographs – i do aim to please. 🙂

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