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Memories of a Slut

August 5, 2008

i knelt beside the bed thinking all sorts of sexual thoughts. i thought a lot about that shoe scene at the club, and how hot that was. How i’d like to do something like that for You.

When i got to thinking about being Your piss slut, my thoughts turned to an old fantasy we’d talked about, about pissing in my clothes out in a park. Being out for a walk at night, You making me stop in a pool of lamplight and ordering me to piss for You, then making me walk back to the hotel that way.

i thought about a lot of other things too – i thought about You watching me put my butt plug in, like You said You wanted to. i thought about You using my ass. i really can’t remember all the things i thought about, but by the time i kissed Your bracelet and got into bed i was feeling really aroused.

i started thinking about the times that i’ve pushed myself really hard for You. i was thinking about those three days in December when i had those accidental orgasms and the sexual frenzy You kept me in afterwards. i started rubbing my nipples as i thought about pissing my panties at work, then later that day at home. Then begging You to let me stuff those panties up my cunt and wear them around the house like that. Later, pulling out those sopping wet panties and using them to gag myself as i masturbated with my big purple dildo in my ass. All these thoughts made my cunt really wet, and i ended up masturbating myself to the edge of orgasm thinking about all those delicious thoughts. i know that wasn’t in Your instructions, but i couldn’t help myself – between wearing the smart balls earlier in the day and all that fantasizing, i was just so aroused.

And now this morning i have that lingering arousal from being so on edge, and i like that – it always makes me feel submissive and in service to You. Especially after writing all that to You, it’s all i can do not to run off to the bathroom so i can touch myself again.

2 comments

  1. lyn – This post and your Saturday’s post just seem to be the perfect Rx for me atm….

    You write of how you “got to thinking as you knelt”… such a thoughtful combination of fond memories of both incredible growth and struggle. Oh, and about the slutty horny things too. 🙂 You show that this just has to keep being worked, even for you and others who are farther down the path than i ….

    “it always makes me feel submissive and in service to You.” Submission/surrender/slavery – whatever it is called – is just simply a beautiful thing. Thanks so much for sharing.

    -crys


  2. It really does have to keep being worked. Which is frustrating, because i want to just get it right and keep it that way. 🙂

    It’s particularly hard in a long distance relationship, where there aren’t regular physical reminders and the opportunities to serve are rather amorphous.

    To top it all off, i’m naturally a control freak, so if my Master isn’t constantly and actively keeping me under His control, i exert my own to fill the gap, even though i know it makes me feel worse in the long run to do that.



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