Archive for January 30th, 2008


Being of good use

January 30, 2008

i went upstairs and got ready for bed, then crawled under my sheets and knelt. i thought some more about this question of my place, and finding it and feeling it, but my thoughts on the subject are still pretty foggy. as i began playing with my nipples i thought about Your earlier email, and about You using my mouth for Your pleasure. i imagined me giving You a blowjob right there on the plane, and that was certainly very hot. i thought more generally about You using me, and revisited the idea You had put out before, that next time perhaps You wouldn’t permit me to orgasm at all when we visit, and thereby take that pressure off the table. That thought was at once arousing and relieving, and i began to think some more about being solely for Your use, with no concern for my own wants.

Still on my knees, i reached a hand down and began to rub my clit, as i imagined a situation where i was forbidden to speak as You used my body. i could moan and gasp and cry out all i wanted, but i couldn’t speak, and You would slap my face if i did. i imagined You fucking all my holes, playing with my body, binding me any way You wished, ordering me to please You. i would be active with my body and my mind, but not with my words.

i flipped onto my back and continued to rub my clit and think about this fantasy. About being forbidden to ask for permission, so there would be no question of me requesting an orgasm. Or requesting or suggesting anything at all. i would really just be for Your use, in every way and any way You wanted. In my imaginings, this felt so completely and fully submissive, and was incredibly arousing.

i had continued to rub my clit and one of my nipples while i fantasized, and suddenly a sense of urgency came over me as an orgasm approached. For all my thoughts of silence, i found myself crying out as my thoughts turned to being Your piss slut and i repeated over and over, “Please Sir, please piss in Your slavegirl’s mouth.” Every recitation of that phrase drove me one step forward, and at last i begged You for permission to give You my orgasm, to come for You, and i did, long and hard and submissively, with the imagined taste of Your piss in my mouth.

After i had recovered, i knelt a little longer, thinking once again of that fantasy, and how powerful i had found it. Checking in on my orgasm and making sure that my mind had been in the right place when i came, and that i was truly doing this in service to You, and not for my own desires. Confirming that yes, i felt that i had, i kissed Your bracelet and drifted off to sleep.