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In my place

January 6, 2008

My Master visited this weekend, and we talked off and on about the nature of our relationship. We use the language of various D/s tropes (Master, slave, slut, Owner), but we really don’t fit well into any of them. We both agreed that really, the style that is most similar is probably Daddy/little girl, although neither of us is comfortable using that language. But there’s a strong component of caregiving and loving and pampering that is very Daddy-esque. As He said often this weekend – as He helped me on with my coat, or opened the door for me, or pulled my chair out – “I don’t care what you are, I’m not going to not do this.” i may be His slutty submissive slavegirl piss slut (and i am), but He still gets great enjoyment and pleasure from these gentlemanly acts too.

But i think He sensed that i was starting to perhaps get a little complacent, expecting things to be fun and easy, and needed a reminder. Or maybe it had nothing to do with me at all, and He was just meeting His own needs when He hogtied me, lied me on my stomach on the bed, and bit my back until i was screaming into His hand across my mouth and through the pillow beneath that. Screaming over and over again as He bit me over and over again, hard, and mostly in exactly the same spot. Then pausing and doing it again when He tired of listening to me beg “no, no, no, please, no, no, no” and wanted to listen to me scream again instead.

My Master may be a gentleman who loves to take care of His girl, but He also owns a slave who exists for His pleasure alone, and i won’t soon forget that.

9 comments

  1. i just started reading your blog, lyn …. thanks much for your perspective on the long distance D/s relationship. Looking forward to reading of your continued growth as a piss slut too :))…

    crystalline


  2. Back biting does really hurt – but I love it (well, I hate it, but I also love it). I don’t suppose you got any photographs?

    I really liked this post. The whole feel of it.

    xx Dee


  3. I think it is at the heart of many kink relationships, the contrast between cherished submissive and devoted slut. Nothing is more fulfilling than being able to take your charge/lady/wife/girlfriend out and show her off; being the perfect gentleman with her, appreciate her grace and elegance. Share her beauty with others, show others your appreciation of her and her admiration for you. Maybe even show her off with a good bit of exhibitionism, flaunt her attributes.

    Knowing through it all that she is lusting for your attention/approval, that when out of the public eye she is your total and complete slut, willing, compliant, devoted to serving your needs.


  4. Thanks everyone for the great comments! i love comments!

    crystalline – thank you for the piss slut comment – knowing that people actually want to read those posts makes me feel less creepy about posting them. i’d do it anyway, because my blog is really for my master, not my readers, as much as i love you all.

    dee – i usually love biting too, but after the 4th or 5th time in the exact same spot, i would have done anything he asked to avoid another. Problem is i already have to do anything he asks, so that doesn’t get me anywhere! No pictures of my back – i can try to take one myself today, though, see how the bruise is shaping up. i’m going to be feeling this for at least a week.

    David – i think you’re very right, and expect my Master will agree!


  5. I think it’s okay to struggle with the definition of your relationship. I often don’t know how to explain to others that I’m somewhere between His little girl and his pet and that I’m not exactly his slave. But the ambiguity of the situation works for us. If it works for you, I say go for it!

    And the biting…I love it too. I have the most vicious bit marks on my arm right now and I’m sad that they’ll go away soon.

    -Kitten


  6. You shouldn’t feel creepy about posting any of that. I know I find strength in such posts. I frequently have those moments of “He wants me to do WHAT???” & then just remember some of the posts I’ve read & can then get brave & soldier it.

    Please keep them coming! Happy New Year.


  7. kitten – i like the way you describe yourself, and that’s sort of the intersection of roles i occupy too.

    Amazingly, i have hardly any marks to show for the biting yesterday, given that every time i lean back in my chair i can feel the bruising, and i wince when i pull my bra strap up. Sad – i like marks, and my body hasn’t been cooperating in giving me them lately.

    hisgirl – thank you! i really appreciate your comment and encouragement!


  8. I think it is great that you dont have a set defined role. How much better it is to be what He wants on that day. I also love what david says about showing the sub off knowing that they are the perfect lady in public but will completely obey any command. I adore that knowledge when i am with sir


  9. I’m really just adoring your blog! This is so educational for me…to see your relationship with your Master.

    I know it’s for him, but thank you for being so open, I was scared of the BDSM world frankly and this is opening it up a lot for me and tearing down some of my stereotypes.



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