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Fair Warning

December 29, 2007

If reading about piss play turns you off, you might want to find another blog to read for a little while, as such activities will feature prominently in my blog posts over the next little while… My Master finds endless amusement in His success at having implanted me with this little fetish, and He’s pushing those buttons very strongly right now in preparation for an upcoming visit.

My relationship to this “little fetish” is complicated. When i think about what i’ve done – not just because i’ve been ordered to, but things i’ve actually begged to do of my own volition – i feel a little disgusted by myself. Even more so when i remember how turned on it made me to do them. it feels humiliating, and degrading, maybe even a little sub-human.

But in the moment, it doesn’t feel that way. In the moment, catering to my Master’s whims, it doesn’t feel disgusting. It feels like love, and devotion, and obedience. It feels right, and perhaps even a little beautiful.

My Master assures me that He will love me no matter how disgusting He makes me. The complexities bound up in that sentence frighten me a little right now, but i am forging bravely forward, putting my trust in Him and believing what He says.

2 comments

  1. It doesn’t turn me off, but it doesn’t turn me on, either. I find it interesting reading how it gets you aroused, though.

    xx Dee


  2. Thanks for the comment. i enjoyed writing up these posts, but then when i started to post them, i got really “oh my god, what are people going to think of me?”

    It’s all very complicated – it’s not the pee stuff that excites me, it’s what it signifies about my submission. It excites me only because He wants it to, not out of any real pee fetish on my part. It’s not the piss that turns me on, it’s the submission.



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