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Thoughts on being a slave

August 16, 2007

i am many things to my Master, and those things have changed over time. As my profile says, i am His “sub, slut, slave, toy and pet.” But the order and emphasis of those things is in constant flux. When we began, i was His slut (His shoe-sucking, cock-sucking, shoe-fucking slut, to be precise). Then, over time, as His control over me expanded to include non-overtly sexual aspects of my life, he began referring to me as his sub. And now, as his control continues to grow, i am increasingly his slavegirl.

i’m not sure that either of us is sure of what the exact distinctions are between all these different roles, but as the old line about porn goes “i know it when i see it.” Or in this case, feel it. Lately, Master has been having me thinking about what it means when i meditate, and fantasizing about being his slavegirl when i masturbate. Here’s what i thought about last night, when i was following his instructions to bring myself to the edge of orgasm three times before crawling into bed frustrated and hungry for more.

Through it all, i thought about being Your slave girl. i thought about kneeling in front of You and sucking Your cock in public. i thought about You writing the word SLAVE across my stomach and taking me out dressed in something where people could see it. i thought about You pushing me down, spreading my legs and fucking me, wherever You wanted. i thought about You fucking my ass. i thought about being Your footstool. Thought about You tying me up and sticking me in the corner, ignoring me while You worked. When i was on the third time of reaching the edge of orgasm, it was the same image i had shared with You earlier in the day – me sucking Your cock until You came, holding You there in my mouth until you grew soft, and then You filling my mouth with piss.

i would very much have liked to come to that image, but instead i stopped, cleaned up and put everything away, then knelt and meditated on my masturbation as service to Him. Then i crawled into bed, beyond sexually frustrated, actually a little in pain from the unrelieved tension and build up. And i thought about that pain as a gift from Him, as a reminder of who i belong to and who i serve.

5 comments

  1. After spending a decent amount of time on your blog I find my head spinning with beautiful images and scenes. I want to thank you for sharing.


  2. Thank you so much for your kind words! Your comment really made my day.


  3. i just hate it when i am not allowed to cum. Sir tells the most fantastic bedtime stories (like the wonderful one you just described) and i get so turned on. He always seems to do the most erotic ones when i am on restriction as he likes to hear me suffer lol.


  4. katie – my Master likes to make me suffer too. He says it’s because i’m so beautiful when i’m in need, but i told Him that was a likely excuse. 🙂 Just yesterday i was telling Him that i wished He was here, because i needed His hands on me so badly i could barely stand it, and He said He’d love to be there, just so He could watch me not be able to stand it.


  5. that is the warped sense of humour that they all seem to share. i love it



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