h1

Anything, anywhere, anytime

July 15, 2007

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about limits, and obedience, and what it really means when I tell my Master that I would do anything he asked of me, anywhere and anytime. There are some unspoken but (I think) mutually understood limits on “anything, anywhere, anytime” – Master wouldn’t ask me to do anything that would harm my family or risk my job or out me to my neighbors, for example.

But that still leaves a lot of anythings, anywheres and anytimes. As I wrote about here, I used to think I was pretty safe, and that there wasn’t anything Master would ask of me that I wouldn’t be willing, even eager, to do. But now that I know that’s not true, I have to face the possibility that someday Master will order me to do something I really don’t want to do. Something that will really test my submission. Something that – if I refuse to do it – would mean that I was no longer his submissive and he no longer my dominant.

That’s the ultimate power that every dominant has over his submissive – to end the relationship. And that’s a pretty major power, and I’m sure many a submissive has found her hard limits suddenly not so firm when faced with that reality.

Thinking about this last night, I remembered a conversation Master and I had on his last visit. I had asked him what would happen if this (D/s) didn’t work out. If I couldn’t give him what he was asking for, couldn’t be the submissive he wanted me to be. And he said that he has to be willing to pull the plug – has to be willing to exercise the ultimate power – or I will never reach the profound and complete submission that he is demanding of me. But he also said that pulling the plug on our D/s relationship wouldn’t equal pulling the plug on us. We came to this from a pre-existing relationship, and we could go back to that.

One might think that this knowledge would weaken the threat of the ultimate power, make it easier for me to just say “no, I can’t do that” when faced with an order that I didn’t want to do, safe in the knowledge that I wouldn’t lose his love or affection. But instead, I feel like it makes it easier for me to choose to obey. Or, at least, makes that choice a purer choice – I am really choosing to submit, because I want and need to submit, because I want and need him as my Master and my owner, not out of fear of losing him.

Of course, I say that now, but my submission has never been put to such an extreme test. I am writing this now so that I will remember it if and when it is.

2 comments

  1. This is becoming a test of stupidity.

    No don’t worry I’m not trying to put you down, I’m one of you and it has lately been how I feel about the whole D/s situation.


  2. i dont understand the other comment on this page but i think you are very lucky in knowing that your relationship is more than just D/s. I live in fear that i will displease Sir and that he will pull the plug. there would be no more after that, it would be over. I hate that feeling, it makes me feel so vulnerable in a way that vanilla relationships just dont induce.

    I am btw, enjoying this blog very much and i hope you dont mind that i have linked it to mine

    katie xxxx



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: