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Playing vs Being

June 25, 2007

Earlier today I sent my owner an email requesting a chance to talk about a scheduling quandary I was having. He told me he’d SMS me when he was free and I could call him. When I got the SMS, it said “You may assume the proper phone position and call me.”

A warm flush came over me. I felt so submissive, so owned. And like I was receiving a gift, by being told to assume my phone position (standing up, head down, eyes looking at the ground between my feet, non-phone arm at my side). I smiled with joy at it. As I readied myself to phone him, it struck me how different my reaction is now, to a month ago. Now, I smiled with joy over the chance to demonstrate my submission, where a month ago I would have let out a nervous giggle at how stereotypically D/s this all seemed. “Wow,” I would have thought, “He’s getting good at this Dom thing.”

In either case, I would have complied, but back then, I was playing the part of the submissive. Now I am submissive. The difference is subtle from the outside, but night and day apart inside.

I shared this observation with him, and he’s had the same reaction on his side – things he once thought were “dorky” now are much less so. We are both in the process of becoming.

2 comments

  1. That was very well written. I like the way you share your thoughts and feelings so understandably (not an easy thing to do). I live apart from my Master as well and it is not an easy thing to do, but we make it work. It sounds like you are making it work too. Congratulations. If it is okay with you and your Dom i’d like to link you on my blog, Puppy Tales.

    brooke


  2. Thank you! You’re very right that it can be difficult to write about these things understandably.

    He and I are both fans of your blog – you also do a very good job of sharing your thoughts and feelings and experiences. In fact, he had recently told me that I should contact you – we’d be very interested in hearing more about how you and your Master make it work across the distance.

    I checked with him, and he says it it’s fine for you to link here. Thanks!



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