Memories of a Visit, Part 1

June 17, 2007

I went upstairs and knelt next to the bed, thinking about the times this weekend when I had felt most owned, most submissive. You shoving the shoe into my mouth on the couch Friday night, telling me to move my hands away. Collapsing at your feet after our scene at the club, and you holding and stroking me there on the floor. Overcoming my hesitation and dancing for you.

I have never felt so submissive before. I have never felt so much in love before.

After running through all those scenes of our visit in my mind, I was more than ready to masturbate. When we are together, your pleasure really does become my pleasure. I was as satisfied – more satisfied – by you coming in me on the couch at the hotel than I would have been to have an orgasm of my own. But it wasn’t long after we parted ways yesterday that my own arousal and desire for release came to the surface. So thank you for giving me permission to come last night.

I was already kneeling next to the bed, naked except for my panties. I started with the vibrator on my clit, and my fingers on nipples, but what I really wanted was your cock in me. Sadly I had to make do with my purple dildo instead, and as soon as I inserted it my arousal kicked into overdrive and the pleasure was exquisite. I fucked myself with the dildo with the vibrator at my clit, and ended up with it almost all the way inside of me. As I did, I thought about you fucking me on Wednesday, thought about you ramming your hard cock into my pussy, slamming into my cervix. I remembered how much it hurt, to have your cock inside my cunt that hadn’t had anything at all inserted in it for a week and was tight and unstretched. I remembered crying out, in pain and pleasure combined, suppressing my desires to pull away from the feelings of too much, and instead, just giving myself totally to you, to the fulfillment of your need.

And then I remembered Friday night, different but the same. Losing myself entirely in the sensation of you fucking me. Keening and crying out, vaguely aware of disturbing the neighbors, but not being able to stop, not wanting to stop. My head shaking wildly back and forth, as my body tried desperately to figure out what to do with the sensations coursing through me.

Through all of this remembering I had been moving the dildo in and out, the vibrator buzzing at my clit, and now I was so close. “Please, please, please, please, please sir, please may I come?” And I did, and I let the sensation of my orgasm, of my submission, of the two mixed, course through my body. It didn’t have the intensity of the one I had with you, or even just the ones I felt through you, but it was still a welcome and needed release, and I crashed hard into sleep immediately after.

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