Archive for June 7th, 2007


Another Apology

June 7, 2007

I’m sorry, sir. I’m sorry that I have been resisting and fighting and complaining, instead of submitting. I want to submit, it gives me great peace and joy to submit, but I have been fighting instead of yielding, and I’m sorry.

I have not been respecting my commitments to you, like not telling you about my clothing this morning, and I feel horrible about violating your trust and caring and kindness that way.

Thank you for pointing out my poor behavior, and helping me find my way back to you. Thank you for loving me, even when I’m acting out. Kneeling here, on my knees in front of my desk, I focused on letting ego go, focused on being for you, being yours in truth and not just in words. My knees hurt on the hard floor, but I stayed, needing to feel that pain, that reminder that I have given my body to you along with my heart and my mind, and that it is not up to me to decide when I will give myself to you and when I will not. I have already done it, and need to keep that always in my mind. Being yours is not an optional “when it suits me” kind of thing, it is an obligation that I must take seriously if I want that respect and love to be returned in kind.

I can’t promise I will never make a mistake again, never try to push you away again, but going forward, I vow to work much harder to remember who and what I am, and who and what you are, and follow through on what it means to be yours.

Always and forever yours, completely, in heart, mind and body,
sub lyn