Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 12

12. When we are together, I own you completely and totally. I control everything about you: every aspect of your body and mind. You are my sub, my slave, my slut, my pet, my toy, and anything else I want you to be. You will do everything I ask without question or hesitation, both in private and in public. This ownership and control will take will take different forms at different times, but it is mine to decide.

We manage this long-distance thing pretty darn well, i think, in no small part thanks to all these rules that help structure our relationship. But i never feel more Your submissive than when we are together and i can be used for Your pleasure, in whatever way You desire. i crave that opportunity to serve You, and only wish i had more chances to demonstrate my submission that way. But i am thankful for every visit we are able to have, and i can’t wait to see You tomorrow.

Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 11

11. You are to carry your cell phone with you at all times. You are to carry your smart balls, anal plug, and two clothespins with you as well. If you want to carry a smaller purse, you are required to ask permission.

When it comes to my phone, i don’t always follow this rule well. i don’t take my cell phone to dinner, for example. i’m sorry, Sir. i do better about having the other objects with me, although sometimes when i’m traveling i do worry about going through security with them. Fortunately the TSA has only gone poking around my little black bag once…

It’s like my little black bag of remote control – i never know when You’re going to demand i pull one toy or the other out and use it to please You.

Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 10

10. You are to treat me with proper respect. You are to address me as “Sir,” and observe proper capitalization protocol in your e-mails to you and in other areas of your D/s life, such as blog posts and your e-mails to contacts from that life. This includes capitalizing “You” and related words, “He” and related words, “Sir,” and “Master.” You are to refer to yourself only in the lower case, and the tone of your e-mails, phone conversation, and in-person conversations are to reflect your status.

i was as surprised as anyone when i approached You about capitalization oh-so-long ago. i’d always thought that sort of thing seemed silly. But then i found great meaning in it. Now, writing this way has become habit, so it’s less of a potent reminder than it used to be. But it is something that i have to be aware of all the time, not just when i’m writing to You, but when i’m not, and have to adjust my capitalization for the rest of the world. It’s interesting to note that there are some people who i almost never use the wrong mode with.

As for addressing You, i love love love calling You Sir. It just feels so right to me. The times that i have use Your given name (calling You from across a store, or something) i always trip over my tongue just a little bit.

When You gave me this rule, i was so pleased with the way that You structured it around respect. Because it really is a mark of the great respect i have for You and how privileged i feel to be Your submissive and have You as part of my life.

Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 9

9. Every night, after masturbation if you do so, you are to spend some time on your knees meditating on your submissiveness, my ownership of you, and anything we talked about or did that day. You are to kneel facing my direction, wherever I happen to be in the world. In the morning, you are to write about it as well.

i like this ritual a lot. When i’m having a hard time with my submission, it’s the time when i’m usually able to puzzle out what’s really going on, although it may take a few nights. When i’m secure in my submission, it gives me an opportunity to relax, focus and center myself before going to sleep, which is an incredible gift. Sometimes i think really deep thoughts and come away with great insight, other times i struggle to keep my focus amidst a flurry of other things running through my head. But always i am happy to reconnect to You and to my submission to You.

Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 8

8. When you receive instructions via e-mail or SMS, you are to carry them out immediately, given the realities of your day. You are to promptly write me with details when you are done, including photographs if required, or an explanation of when you can do them if you cannot.

Anywhere, anything, anytime. That is what i’ve promised You, and i try to deliver it by following this rule. Sometimes when instructions come from out of the blue i’m not in the right head space. i might get a little frustrated, really not feeling in the mood to wear a butt plug, for example. But i give myself an attitude adjustment, remind myself that i serve You best by obeying You immediately and unquestioningly, and do what You have asked of me. And then thank You for the opportunity to be of service.

Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 7

7. I own you throughout your day. You are to kiss my bracelet as the first thing you do in the morning, and the last thing you do at night. You are to send me both a “good morning” and “good night” e-mail or SMS. You are to make time for me, more so the days you do not have parenting responsibilities. You are to tell me the schedule of your day, every morning. If things change, you are to tell me. You are also to keep me up to date on your whereabouts: when you do things: when you leave the house, when you go into meetings, when you leave work, and so on.

It’s good that we’re doing this in depth review of the rules, because i had forgotten about the morning bracelet addition to this one. But what a wonderful way to start my day! i will start tomorrow.

i love how my service to You bookends my days and gives them structure. And i like that i don’t have to feel guilty or conflicted about my time spent in service to You anymore. That’s enormously freeing.

Ever since You explained to me about not liking to be surprised, i’ve better understood how important it is to keep you apprised of what i’m doing and where i am. It still doesn’t mean i always do it – when i’m tired, or stressed, or distracted, i tend to let it slide. When really i should be better about it at those times, because making that connection to You, expressing my submission to You, is something that will help me to calm down and focus.

Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 6

6. I own your orgasms. You are never to come without permission. When you are to masturbate or come, you will receive instructions to that effect. You are not to request permission to masturbate or orgasm, with the exception of “medical related” orgasms duringmenstruation. If you don’t receive any instructions — either because I don’t send them to you or there is an e-mail issue — you are allowed to masturbate but not to orgasm. Whenever you masturbate, you are to do so in a submissive manner. Even if you are allowed to orgasm, you are forbidden to aggressively seek orgasm; you may only take one if it comes to you in your submissiveness. You are to write to me about it every morning.

Flowing naturally from rule 5, your ownership of my orgasms is pretty well cemented in my mind now. Sometimes it’s hard to find the right balance between doing what i need to do to make myself come and not “aggressively seeking orgasm.” But when i am doing it right it feels right. i only wish i were better at giving You my orgasms when You demand them, and that i didn’t have to still be so much in control of the stimulation in order to get there.

i feel particularly submissive when i have instructions to masturbate on nights when i’m tired and/or otherwise uninterested. Then there’s no question who commands my arousal and my orgasm, and whose pleasure it serves. i fantasize about being forced to come over and over again
until it ceases to be pleasurable for me and is really all about serving You. It’s a very hot fantasy for me, and i’m getting wet just writing about it. Wet and wishing i could touch myself, but knowing that i don’t have permission and will have to go to sleep with my cunt aching to serve You.

Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 5

5. I own your sexuality, and everything that happens to it. You are to tell me about everything: every sexual thought, every sexual deed. In detail. Everything. This includes things about yourself and things about others — everything. You are not allowed to read D/s websites without my explicit permission. When you do have permission, you are to send me links to everything you read and the comments you leave. In addition, you are to send me a link to any other sexually related blog posts you read.

i accept unequivocally that You own my sexuality. Yet i still have trouble with this rule, and don’t follow it as well as i should. i do pretty well when i comes to the blog reading restrictions, although certainly there are times when it frustrates me that i can’t follow up on an interesting entry in my referrer logs, and it just doesn’t seem worth the bother to ask for permission. i know i surf blogs way less than when i had free rein to do so, because again, having to ask for permission just doesn’t make sense when i’m just looking for a way to pass a minute or two here or there if some software is loading or something like that. But, given the realities of my life, i don’t often have time to waste blog reading anyway, so this is all probably for the best. And it means that the times when i have permission, i am very aware that i am acting on Your instructions, and at Your pleasure.

As for deeds, that’s probably where i do best. i can’t do anything sexual with myself or anyone else without thinking of telling You about it, and being aware of what You would think as i did it. That’s what i mean when i say that i accept this rule unequivocally – i’m totally aware that my sexuality is Yours, not my own.

Early in our D/s relationship i did a much better job of telling You about every sexual thought i had. And that’s something that i want to get back to, because i know it is an important way for You to know what is going on in my mind and where i am at with my sexuality and my submission. And that the more You know about those things, the more successful our long-distance interactions will be.

Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 4

4. I own your mind. You are to communicate as much as possible. What you say and write is to a be true reflection of what is in your head and your heart. You are not to write something because you think I want to hear it, or because you think it fits into the “scene,” or because it’s what you’re trying to make yourself believe. You are not to edit your thoughts, or only tell me things you think I want to hear. You are to be completely open and honest — and exposed — to me at all times.

This can be a difficult rule for me to follow. i want to make You happy, and sometimes communicating fully and giving You a true reflection of what is in my head and heart means saying things that i know will not make You happy, and might even hurt You. But i know how important this rule is to making our long-distance relationship work. It’s too easy to hide behind the right words when i’m really thinking and feeling something else entirely, and You have no way of knowing because You can’t pick up on the non-verbal clues You’d get if You were here.

At the same time as this is sometimes difficult, i am really grateful that i am not silenced in this relationship. That i am not just allowed to speak my mind (and heart), but expected and instructed to do so.

Renewing and Reviewing: Rule 3

3. You are to wear your bracelet and ankle bracelet at all times, and are never to take them off — except temporarily while washing if you need to — without permission. These are symbols of your ownership, and you are expected to treat them with the respect they deserve.

i am so used to wearing both of these pieces of jewelry now that they feel like part of my body. But i’m also aware of them – when i’m dressing, when a flicker of light reflecting from my wrist catches my eye, when i reach for my bracelet when i’m stressed or missing You. They mark me as owned, more subtly than a collar would, but i know what they signify, and they remind me that You are with me at all times. Thank You, Sir, for these gifts of beauty and ownership.