Remembrances

i went upstairs and put on my cuffs and collar. i knelt for You, feeling my awareness of my body as belonging to You, and feeling grateful/ appreciative of You giving me the freedom to have fun with it. i rolled over and pulled out my vibrator and masturbated. Feeling particularly owned already, i was fantasizing about being Your piss slut, because those have been some of the times i have felt the most owned. i thought drinking Your piss at La Domaine. i thought about You pissing on me in the various bathtubs of our acquaintance. i thought about wanting to pee my panties for You again, and suck out the pee, and wad them up and stick them into my cunt for You. And thinking about how incredibly hot that experience had been, my orgasm hit and i was begging You for permission to come. Then i put the vibe away and drifted off into a nice deep sleep.

Backed Up

Davis pokes his head into my cubicle. “The toilet’s backed up again,” he tells me.

“I know, and I’ve already called the plumber, but they can’t get here until tomorrow.”

“Boss says we should use you instead. How do you want it, in a glass, or straight from the tap?”

i’m not one to turn down the opportunity for a cock in my mouth, although i’d rather it was cum hitting the back of my throat than piss. But i know my job, and i get out from behind my desk and kneel on the floor in front of Davis.

He unzips his pants – a little too eagerly, i think – and feeds his soft cock into my open mouth. i try to relax and think zen thoughts as the taste of his piss starts to fill my mouth and i struggle to keep swallowing and not choke. Finally, he’s done, and pulls out and zips up.

As he’s walking out the door, he turns to me – “Lyn, bring me a cup of coffee, will you? i have a feeling i’m going to need a lot of coffee today.”

-3 days

i wish i could say that all of you were right and that i just fell into it and everything was perfect. Sadly, that was not the case. i was out of sorts from the moment i met my Master at the airport on Thursday – annoyed that i was having to wear an uncomfortable butt plug, instead of seeing it as an opportunity to please. Testy and argumentative. Distant. All the things i don’t want to be, but somehow couldn’t help. i sucked His cock, said all the right words, spread my legs for Him to fuck, but my heart just wasn’t completely in it. i knew it, he knew it, but we both muddled through, Him occasionally asking me what was up, me being unable to clearly articulate it.

We did have a nice visit – it was fabulous to have him in my new home, and my new bed. Fabulous to cook dinner together, something we’ve not really done before. Fabulous just to hang around the house having normal time. But it wasn’t satisfying either of our needs, deep down. Because i was fighting it.

Friday night, after the dinner we cooked for each other, we were sitting together on the couch, and something clicked in me. i got down on my knees in front of Him, kneeling at His side as He stroked my hair and face. i felt better than i had all visit. i only went back up to the couch in order to give Him a long foot massage, something that He absolutely adores, and i felt good to be serving Him that way.

Later, He went into the bathroom. Being His piss slut is one of the things that i’ve been particularly fighting lately, but hearing the sound of His piss hitting the water, i was compelled to go over to the bathroom. i knelt outside the door, and He turned and put His cock in my mouth.

i didn’t know if He was done or not. i didn’t know if He would be pissing in my mouth – expecting me to swallow without spilling a drop – or if i was simply to clean Him off. But – most importantly – it also didn’t matter. In that moment i was simply submitting, whatever that might mean, whatever He might want from me.

My body flushed with submission. i tingled from head to toe with the feeling of giving over all that control, with simply trusting and serving and submitting my will to His. He pulled His cock from my mouth – all He needed from me was to clean it off – and stood there, holding my face in His hands. The pure emotion of submission flowed through me.

We went to bed soon after, and i was on fire. Every touch of my Master’s hands on my skin further aroused me. Unlocking my submission had unlocked my sexuality too, and when my Master finally gave me His permission, i came long and hard around His cock in my cunt, every contraction furthering my connection and submission to Him.

Unfortunately, He had to leave early the next morning. So now my challenge is to hold onto that feeling until i see Him again, in about three weeks.

Picture Perfect Piss Slut

In the weeks leading up to our last visit, i found my fantasies frequently turning to piss. i often fantasize about being forced to drink my Master’s piss – it’s not something i enjoy, but in fantasies it’s the thing that pushes me over edge to orgasm. But this time, i found myself fantasizing about the feeling of my Master’s piss on my body – the heat and wetness on my breasts, my stomach, my pussy. By the time our visit came around, that fantasy had become an overwhelming craving.

After a busy afternoon of shopping, we stopped into the bar for a drink before heading upstairs. By the time we got up to the room i really needed to pee, and when i asked Master for permission to go, He told me strip and get into the bathtub.

i knelt on my hands and knees, and as i peed my piss flowed down the bathtub past my face to the drain. My Master pushed my face down into it as it passed. When i was finished He ordered me to flip over onto my back, and then He began to piss on me as i lied in the bathtub.

At first it was just like my fantasy – that warm flow, the smell, the feeling of being covered by my Master. But if there’s one thing i have learned, it’s that my Master never gives me only what i want, He takes what He wants too. This time He took it by ordering me to open my mouth as He directed His stream towards my face, pissing in my mouth and ordering me to swallow.

When He finished, He told me to stay still, that He’d be back in a moment, and i knew (even with my eyes tightly shut against the piss that was all over my face) that He had gone to get His camera. i masturbated for Him as He photographed me, surprised at what a good lubricant His piss was as my fingers twirled around my clit.

“Your clavicle is full of piss,” He said to me. “Like a little cup. Use your fingers to scoop it out and drink it all.” i dipped my fingers into that divot in my neck, and finding the little pool of piss there, i dragged my fingers through it and sucked them off until the pool was empty and my Master was satisfied.

Fetish Friday – Watersports

We don’t call it watersports, we call it being my Master’s piss slut. If you’ve read Long Distance Sub for very long at all, then you’ve probably read about some of our experiences. It started with my Master making me beg Him to piss in my mouth if i wanted to suck His cock. At the time, we were still very new to our D/s roles, and i “knew” he’d never actually do it, so i had no compunctions begging Him for it. Not today, He said. But someday.

And someday came. And there have been many more somedays since then.

Piss play can come in so many different forms. It’s common to read about it as a form of humiliation, and it’s easy to see how it could be played that way. But that’s never been our dynamic. What exactly is our dynamic? It’s complex. In the beginning, it was about my Master wanting to get completely inside of me, in every cell, to become a part of me. And this was one means to do that. It’s also about Him restructuring my sexuality. i had no inclination towards watersports before He came along – in fact, i would have put it on my limit list, if i had one. And now it’s embedded so deeply in my sexuality and my brain that it’s the fantasy that i most often turn to when i need a little extra something to get over the edge. Most fundamentally, it’s about submission. i don’t actually like it (more on that in a moment), but i do it because my Master tells me to. i do it because i am His. And that’s incredibly powerful for both of us.

i’m on a watersports group over on FetLife and there are people there (mostly men, come to think of it) who talk about how much they love the smell and the taste of piss. i am not one of those people. i love the feeling of submission that i get from obeying my Master in this, but that mostly come after. i don’t love the act itself. At point one during our visit to La Domaine, my Master had me kneel in the bathroom. At His instruction, i took His cock in my mouth and He began pissing. i tried to swallow as it came, but soon the taste overwhelmed me and i gagged and had to pull away. He let me do that – but as soon as i had recovered, He guided my face back to His cock and made me do it again. Three times in total, with me shaking my head and gasping, even a tear or two running down my face. It was hard. It was disgusting, at times. It doesn’t taste good, and the taste lingers. But i don’t do it for me, i do it for Him, and that’s really what it’s all about.

There have been times that it’s been more erotic for me, and i commented to my Master that perhaps i needed to be retrained to find the eroticism in it again. His response was “Unless I prefer it when you actually don’t like it when I piss all over your face.” Which makes sense – i don’t have a lot of limits (at least not ones that He’s interested in pushing) and sometimes that makes it hard to feel my submission. The less eager i am to do this, the more it signifies about His ownership of me.

But even though i’m not exactly eager, i do have some element of pride about it. i’m proud that i’m able to submit in this way and please my Master. And i’m proud that i’ve been able to write about it in a way that hasn’t necessarily grossed people out. In fact, about once a month or so i get an email or comment from someone saying “I’d never really considered doing this before, but you’ve made me see that it could be worth exploring.” And i think that’s really cool.

What about you, readers? Have you played with watersports, on the giving or receiving end? Do you like, or do you just put up with it? If you haven’t, is it something you’ve ever thought about doing?

Dinner at La Domaine

My Master and i are very very intrigued by a La Domaine Esemar (“the world’s oldest SM training chateau”). Very, very intrigued, and we’re hoping to actually manage to visit some day. But in the meantime, my Master told me to write up a fantasy about my role in a dinner party there. Please note: i expect that some of the activities in this story might not technically be legal at such a place, but hey, it’s my fantasy, i can ignore the law!

*********************

We arrive at La Domaine on Friday. You start me off slow – during Friday’s dinner i eat with the rest of You, sitting on the floor at Your feet, You feeding me from Your fingers or putting a bowl or plate down for me to lap like a dog or a cat. i carefully observe the house slaves as they serve the meal, so i will know what to expect the next day, although i know my role will be different. i listen in to the conversation that is mostly going on around me and above me, that doesn’t include the slavegirl on the floor at her Master’s feet.

Saturday’s dinner draws near and You select what You want me to wear. Fortunately it is a warm summer evening, because i have only a lacy bra and g-string to cover me, and stiletto heels on my feet, of course.

As the guests arrive i am stationed by the door, kneeling. As each guest enters they pause in front of me, and i thank them for attending and kiss their shoes. When all the guests have arrived and while cocktails are being served and hors d’oeuvre circulated, i am stripped of my clothes and ordered to stand in the middle of the room. While everyone watches (or doesn’t watch, as they so desire) one of the Masters from La Domaine begins tying a rope harness around my body, between my legs and around my breasts, securing my arms behind my back. i am secured to a hook in the ceiling above me, then blindfolded.

Conversation continues around me, and from time to time i feel a hand reach out to touch me, pinching my nipples, spreading my legs and inspecting my asshole or cunt. i moan, and things intensify even more, and i cry out a little as clothespins are pinned to different parts of my body. i give a flinch and inhale sharply at the sharp crack of a riding crop.

Soon enough one of the Master’s announces that dinner is to be served, and the guests all move to the table. One of the house slaves unhooks me from the ceiling and removes all of bondage. i dress again in the pretty lingerie, and am sent to serve under the table. i kneel next to You first, laying my cheek against Your leg, feeling Your hand gently stroking my hair, cherishing the comfort and familiarity that is You in this sea of new experiences. But then You ask the lady to the right of You how i may be of service, and things begin again.

i move underneath the table, rubbing feet, sucking toes, spreading my legs for shoes to penetrate my hole, licking clits, taking cocks deep within my mouth. And all around me conversation goes on, only sometimes acknowledging my presence with a comment on my prowess (or lack thereof) or a request to “pass the slavegirl, please.”

Dinner ends, and guests retire to the sitting room for tea or coffee. i, however, retire to the bathroom and kneel in the tub. A small but noticeable sign reads “piss slut available for use” and as the evening winds up, one by one all the guests pass through the bathroom. Some take pity on me and use the regular facilities, but others take great pleasure in my humiliation, covering my face, hair and body with piss, or forcing me to open my mouth and take all i can that way. For the women, i lie on the tub as they squat overtop of me, and then i carefully lick their shoes clean of piss before they leave the bathroom.

It seems like forever until the last guests leave and You come into the bathroom to tell me that my service is finished. You strip off Your own clothes, turn on the hot water, and join me in the bathtub, washing my face and body and my hair, telling me what i a good girl i have been, what a good submissive i have been. You curl Yourself around me as the tears come and come and finally i am spent. You dry me off and wrap me up and take me upstairs to the guest room. You make love to me, and then hold me as i drift off to sleep.

On fire

i’m so horny my hands are shaking. My cunt is dripping and throbbing. My ass is clenching and unclenching around the butt plug inside it. Sex is all i can think about. Every nerve ending in my body is electrified – the touch of my shirt against my back is almost too much to stand. My Master has been playing with me today, keeping me aroused and on the edge. Making me beg Him for permission to have an orgasm tonight. i’ve been playing with myself too, pushing even farther than He demanded. Rubbing my nipples and clit as i pissed, licking my piss off my hand afterwards. i begged Him to let me put the koosh ball in my pants, and He did, but warned me that i’d better not come. i kept having to take it out. Because it was too much, i was on the edge for so long, i felt like maybe i was falling over the wrong side with all the intensity i was feeling. But i’m still insanely aroused now, so i don’t think i really did. Maybe a little bit, but not really. My cunt is on fire. My jeans are damp straight through. My fantasies get nastier and sluttier as the day goes on, until i am fantasizing about being pissed on by strangers, imagining my Master ordering me to open my mouth as 2 or 3 of them piss on my face, then when they are done, forcing me down to lick the piss from the bottom of the tub. And i’m terrified that someday He’ll make me do it, but i can’t help that the fantasy makes me so hot i want to cream in my jeans as i’m thinking of it.

Last night

i got ready for bed, thinking about where You were tonight and what that meant for how i needed to orient myself. As i knelt i thought about how much better i felt today, and about all the good things that i was able to focus on. i thought about being Your piss slut, and how much it helps me to have concrete ways to demonstrate my submission.

Thinking about being Your piss slut, i turned my thoughts to Your earlier instructions to play with myself while thinking about that. So, still kneeling, i brought my hands underneath myself and began playing with my nipples as i knelt and thought. My first thought was “ouch, i have sore breasts!” so i think my period must really be planning to come soon. But i continued to rub my nipples, and although they were a little tender, i felt my cunt warm in response. i remembered all the sensations and emotions i’d experienced standing in the bathtub and being Your piss slut just an hour before.

As my arousal grew, i slipped a hand between my legs (still kneeling) and began to play with my clit, moaning softly in pleasure and feeling my body arch and respond to my touch. i always enjoy feeling the arousal that submitting to You brings me, and this time was no exception.

i was getting sore from kneeling, so i lied down on my side, breathing fast and thrusting against the pillow between my knees as my fingers continued to play at my nipples.

i wasn’t trying to come, but i did want to feel my submission very fully, and i never feel so submissive as when i am wet and horny and wanting. i slipped a hand between my legs and rubbed my clit again as i played with a nipple with the other hand. i fantasized about shoes, and realized that i really, really want to be able to go up to someone at a club someday and beg to worship their shoes. Up until now that’s been more in the realm of things i wanted to do to show my submission and because i knew it would be a very hot thing for You, but last night my own desire to do that overwhelmed me.

As i imagined that, the inklings of an orgasm started to approach. i kept touching myself, wanting to experience my arousal fully, and accepting that i would or would not orgasm and that either was fine (at least i hope it was fine with You in keeping with Your recent instructions re. orgasm). i turned my thoughts back to being Your piss slut, standing in the bathtub as my piss ran through my panties and through my hands down my legs. i thought about You pissing on me. With this thought, i found myself on the edge of orgasm, so i begged You aloud for permission. On the edge, on the edge, on the edge, and i opened my mouth and the words spilled out and i begged aloud “please Sir, please piss in my mouth” and crashed over the edge into orgasm.

i caught my breath, put on my ankle cuffs and collar, and drifted off to sleep with thoughts of You filling my mind.

Intensity

It’s Friday morning. My Master has been in town for a couple of hours, and He’s fucking me. Generous Master that He is, i’ve already had one (sort of) orgasm and i’m working on another as He fucks me, but i have to pee. i tell Him that, but He doesn’t stop. Eventually He comes – i think in my mouth – and then turns His attentions to me, sliding my glass wand into my cunt and making me come that way. All the while, i have to pee. After i come, i really really have to pee.

He takes me into the bathroom, and i know it’s time.

“Get into the bathtub,” He says. i start to get undressed – i’m still fully clothed, in the tiny skirt, g-string panties, button down top, sheer lace bra, and black stiletto pumps with chain He was fucking me in – but He stops me, and orders me to lie down in the tub like i wrote to Him about last week.

The tub in the hotel is the wrong size and shape for the position i had taken last week, and i beg for and receive permission to kneel on my hands and knees instead.

“Now you can piss, my piss slut.”

i’m incredibly nervous about what’s going to happen next, and humiliated by my position, but i really, really, really have to pee. So i do, right through my sheer panties. My piss hits the bottom of the tub and splatters back up on my legs and skirt. i reach down to try to pull the skirt out of the way, and He stops me, telling me not to worry about it. My face is at the drain, so my piss runs past me down the drain, and He pushes my face down into it as it passes.

i finish pissing, my feeling of relief overriding my fear momentarily.

“Up. On your knees. You know what’s coming now, don’t you?”

i nod, because He’s in front of me, with His cock in His hand. It’s difficult for Him, this pissing on me, i think because my submitting in this way is so arousing for Him. But it comes, and His piss falls on my chest and open shirt, onto my face. i’m cringing and struggling, but He pulls my face towards Him, orders me to open my mouth. i close my lips around the head of His cock and my mouth fills with His piss. i want to swallow it, drink it all without spilling a drop, like the good little piss slut He wants me to be. But i can’t. i swallow some, but just hold the rest in my mouth and dribble it out when pulls His cock from my mouth.

He shoves me down so that i am lying on my stomach in the bathtub, high-heeled feet up in the air. Cold piss soaks through my clothes. “You know what to do,” He says. i put my mouth to the tub and begin to lap up the piss that’s still running into the drain, His and mine combined. But i’m not doing it well enough for His tastes, and He shoves my face down into it again. “Drink.” i suck up mouthfuls of piss from the tub, shuddering and shaking, and He is satisfied.

“Take your clothes off.”

i undress, and my piss-covered clothes and (remarkably piss-free) shoes are tossed into the corner for the moment. i’m sitting in the bottom of the bath tub, naked, covered in cold piss, shaking with fear and humiliation and submission, and He begins to run the water.

And i am terrified – completely terrified – that He is going to punish me for my disobedience, for my unauthorized orgasms, by running the cold shower on me right there. i know i have been a very bad girl and deserve to be punished, so i don’t even try to beg Him not to do it. i just sit there, body tensing in fear, trying to prepare myself to be punished, all the while convinced that i am going to completely break when it happens.

But then He climbs into the tub with me, and turns the hot shower on both of us, and holds me in His arms as i take deep shuddering breaths. i confess my fear to Him, confess to Him that i thought He was going to punish me, and He holds me even tighter, turns my face to Him, kisses my mouth that’s still filled with His taste. “How could i punish you,” He says, “when You were such a very very good girl for me just now?”

My breath comes easier now, and i’m crying from relief and emotion and the sheer intensity of it, muttering “i thought You were going to punish me” until His gentle touches finally calmed my mind and my pounding heart.

We stayed there in the tub for a long long time (hooray for hotels and unlimited hot water), until our fingers and toes were all pruny and we were ready to face the world again, a Master and His piss slut, who were both now very hungry for lunch.

More piss slut practice

Remember in yesterday’s “just so horny” post, when i said that i’d been a little over-eager? Well, Master was so pleased with my over-eagerness that He wants me to post the email i wrote Him about it. i’m feeling really humiliated and embarrassed about posting it. It’s bad enough to be ordered or forced to do the things i describe in it, but it’s way more humiliating to admit that you came up with this stuff all on your own.

***

Instructions: Be my piss slut tonight, in every way possible. Keep yourself submissive, wet — especially wet — and eager to please. Play with yourself, without coming, while thinking about being my piss slut. You are mine, completely and totally.

i went upstairs and went into the bathroom. i ran the water in the bathtub to preheat it so it would be warm when i was ready – it takes so long for the warm water to get upstairs otherwise. i took the cup from the bathroom sink and held it between my legs as i stood in the empty bathtub. i played with a nipple with my free hand and watched in fascination and arousal as me pee was collected into the cup. i brought the cup to my mouth, took a deep breath of my aroma, then drank a mouthful of my piss. i poured the rest of the cup over my breasts and down my body as i played with my clit with my free hand. i stood in the tub, covered with piss, until i was at the brink of an orgasm, then i filled the tub with water and slipped into it.

In the tub i couldn’t help but play with my nipples a bit as i relaxed in the hot water and fantasized about Your visit. It wasn’t long before i felt the urge to pee again – it’s very hard for me to fully empty my bladder under these circumstances, and i’d had quite a bit to drink before coming upstairs in order to prepare for being Your piss slut. i got up on my knees so that i was above the water level and held the cup between my legs again. While i peed, i fantasized about meeting You at the airport. i imagined that on the drive back, You pulled over to the side of the road, telling me that You needed to piss and i needed to be Your toilet, right there. And that i had better not spill a drop. As i imagined drinking the piss from Your cock, i lifted the cup from between my legs and drank from it. it was a longer drink this time, as i tried to prepare myself for Your use this weekend. i poured the remainder of the cup over my cunt as i rubbed my clit and brought myself to the edge of orgasm once again.

i tried to relax in the hot water, but i wanted desparately to be used and violated in that moment. i reached over to get my hairbrush out of the drawer. i shoved it into my cunt, right up to the hilt without any preparation. it went in easily, and enjoyed feeling it’s stiffness in my cunt. i thrust my hips and moved it in and out, enjoying the sensations building, but being very careful not to get too close and risk and accident. Thinking about wearing my butt plug today, i suddenly wanted to feel something in my ass. i tried to put the hairbrush handle in, but it was too stiff and wouldn’t go in without lube under the water. So i cleaned it off and put it back into my cunt and inserted a finger into my asshole instead. That was a very intense sensation, and i imagined You fucking me with the butt plug in, or better yet, two cocks in me, one in my ass and the other in my cunt. i was feeling very aroused, so i took the hairbrush out of cunt and instead slipped a second finger into my ass. i thrust my fingers in my ass while playing with my nipple with my free hand, and brought myself very close to orgasm again. i was surprised at the idea that i could come just from that stimulation, and imagined what that might mean for when You choose to use me as Your ass slut.

i finished up in the bathtub and got out. i needed to empty my bladder before going to sleep, so i sat on the toilet and held the cup between my legs again, playing with my nipple ever so slightly as i peed. i brought the cup (about a quarter full) to my lips and slipped my free hands between my legs, rubbing my clit furiously as i drank down the entire contents of the glass. i imagined that i was drinking Your piss from Your cock, although i was very aware that it would be much harder to do this from You. i’d been drinking lots of water, so my piss was much more dilute than Yours has been the times You have had me drink it. i finished drinking it and kept playing with my clit until i neared orgasm again, then stopped.

i brushed my teeth, took my sleep drugs, and went into the bedroom. i knelt next to the bed, thinking about all i had done and what a complete and utter piss slut You have made me into. i thought about how much i was craving Your touch and Your visit. i thought about what i had done for You this night, and felt confident that You would be pleased with how i had followed Your instructions. (Also thinking that i frequently come up with far more nasty things to do to myself than You would, and You must greatly enjoy seeing how i debase myself with Your open-ended instructions.)

i had been kneeling with my upper body on the bed, but i pulled straight up then and began rubbing both of my nipples as i knelt there with my legs spread. i only stopped when i was gasping and shuddering with arousal, whereupon i kissed Your bracelet and crawled into bed.

But even there, i couldn’t leave myself alone. i was lying on my side and my hips started bucking. i was in the same position (on my side, with a pillow between my legs) that i had been in for my second accident last week, and i could feel that it would only take a few thrusts of my hips like that for me to orgasm. So instead i rolled onto my back and spread my legs far apart, thinking about how in this state i could probably come rubbing up against just about anything You told me to, i was so desperately horny and aroused. i thought about You fucking me when You visit, and how desperately i will need to beg for permission to touch myself then. i imagined You taking my ass instead of my cunt the first time You fucked me, wanting to hold off this naughty slavegirl’s satisfaction as long as possible. But i imagined You giving me permission to touch myself, and imagined coming with You fucking my ass.

After all that, i was so horny and so aroused that i had a really hard time sleeping (see my opening comment re. “a little too eager”). Finally i drifted off into fitful sleep filled with dreams of fucking. Somewhere in there i dreamed about having a dream in which i orgasmed and had to admit that to You the next morning. But i don’t think i actually came in my sleep, it was just a dream within a dream.

And now i’m sopping wet again from writing this to You.