I <3 NY

i’m home, from 4 nights and 5 days of sex, submission and, yes, shoes, in my new favorite city. The only thing i’m more smitten with than NYC right now is my Master, who i find myself ever more hopelessly and helplessly head over heels in love with.

i wasn’t perfect. i annoyed Him occasionally, but thankfully He mostly finds my flaws amusing. i know i pleased Him, and i hope i made up for the parts of our last big city adventure that left Him disappointed.

There are many tales to be told, and i’m looking forward to writing them down here so i won’t forget them. So that i will always remember how loved and lucky and cherished i feel at this very moment, even as i miss my Master with every cell in my body, and feel my heart ache for Him with every beat.

Thank You, Sir. You are my Master, lover, friend, and the love of my life.

Returning to the real world

My Master and i spent a wonderful weekend at Beat Me in St Louis, and i am having a hard time getting back into the swing of my normal life. For a lot of people, an event like this is amazing because it feels like “home” to them, because they enjoy that sense of community and belonging that comes with the “gathering of the tribes” as it were. For us, while it was great to be around other kinky people, neither my Master nor i have that strong need for community reinforcement, so that’s not what i’m missing today.

i’m missing Him, a lot. It didn’t occur to me until this morning that i spent probably 90% of the last few days touching my Master. Wherever we were – at a meal, attending a workshop, we were at the very least snuggled up next to each other, and quite frequently i was snuggled up on His lap or draped over Him in some other way.

Also, i was able to be un-restrainedly demonstrative. Even when we are together in vanilla space, we spend most of our time touching each other, by sitting next to each other or holding hands. But in this space, i could give into the urge to kneel at His feet just because i wanted to and needed to, knowing that no one would judge. We could kiss each other, deeply and passionately, expressing all the boundless love we feel for each other.

It was lovely. As we were preparing to part yesterday, He kept commenting on how connected we felt, and in the moment i didn’t really feel it as that different than how we had been before. But now, with that physical connection a fading memory and only the emotional connection in my aching heart to remind me, i know it and remember it, and try to hold onto it until next time.

Giving thanks

Your slavegirl is very happy that You have made her Yours. She greatly appreciates the opportunity to be of service to You, and always looks forward to ways that she can demonstrate her love and commitment. She is immensely grateful for all the ways that You support her, emotionally and otherwise. She knows that she has become a better and stronger person through being Your submissive and walking this path with You, and she thanks You for that beautiful gift above all others. She needs to remember to use that new strength and focus in her service to You, as well as in the other areas of her life that have benefited from it. Your slavegirl appreciates Your kindness and generosity and willingness to put up with her mistakes and teach her the same lesson over and over again.

Encircled

Your slavegirl feels very lucky to have been given such a beautiful and delicate bracelet. It is as beautiful as the love she feels for You every minute of every day. It is delicate, but also strong, like the bonds of Your dominance and her submission. It wraps itself around her like You wrap her up in Your protective embrace. It is a symbol of the deep and abiding connection that You and she share, and Your slavegirl is priviliged to have it on her wrist, where she can draw upon it as a physical embodiment of that connection and Your love.

Red and Black

Of the more than 200 pictures my Master took of me this past weekend, this is the one that called to me to be posted first. It’s filled with things the remind me of the continuing evolution of our relationship. The shoes have been with us from the beginning – there are dozens of other shoes now, but those are the classic, the standard, the ideal by which the others are judged. The nails are new: my long search for the perfect red has ended with OPI’s “Vodka & Caviar,” and the beautiful acrylic nails the color is painted on mark my body and mind’s continuing transformation in service to my Master. And then there’s the rope binding me tight, just as our love binds us ever tighter with each passing day.

A perfect picture for a perfect weekend, where i gave myself fully and through doing so, got everything i needed.

Bracelet

Your bracelet is my connection to You. When we’re apart, when we’re busy, when we can’t communicate as much as we like to, Your bracelet is my reminder and my connection, to You and to my submission. It wraps itself around my wrist like You have wrapped Yourself around my life. It contains me and encircles me and reminds me. It gives me comfort when i am upset, and focus when i am scattered. Every time i look at it, i am reminded that i love You, and You love me, and what a wonderful love it is.

Love is…

Kneeling between my Master’s legs, taking His cock deep into my mouth, while He scratched my naked back really hard, demanding that i keep sucking, and slapping the growing welts if i slowed my pace or stopped because of the pain from His nails.

i hate hate hate hard scratching. But i love my Master.

10 things that tell me i’m Yours

1. That for everything i do and think, i think “i wonder what Master will think about this.”
2. That just thinking about You lifts my heart and brightens my day
3. That i watch the clock, anticipating when You’ll be back in my day
4. That i notice other people differently – i notice their clothes, their shoes, their appearance – and i think about what You would think, and feel good, knowing You would be proud of me for noticing
5. That i get wet just from You telling me too.
6. That every time my phone rings or my inbox has new mail, i hope it’s You
7. That i’m so eager to please You, and so happy when i do
8. That the slightest touch from You thrills me and fulfills me
9. That i obey You, even when it’s hard
10. That my love for You just fills me up and infuses everything with beauty (and a little bit of pain too, but mostly just beauty)

A love story

My relationship with my Master is not just about the pissing and spankings and the objectification and the shoe fucking. It’s also a love story. In many ways and on many levels. And to that end…

Dear Master:

i love that You are so incredibly smart.

i love that You are so handsome.

In particular, i love Your icy blue eyes and the contrast with Your dark hair. Divine.

i love Your childlike enthusiasm for things You care about.

i love that i can geek cooking minutia with You, and You a) take me seriously and b) don’t think it’s the slightest bit odd.

i love Your wit, and that You are the master of pithy.

i love You, always and completely. More than anything. Every day, in every way. With all of my heart.

Your wet, submissive and eager-to-please sub,
lyn

How i know

Tell me how you know that you are my submissive, slavegirl, and pet. List ten things for me.

i know because:

i wear Your bracelet around my wrist 24/7
i dress for You every day
i am Yours to play with when and if You desire
i will do anything You ask of me, anywhere and anytime
i think of You constantly – You are in my every thought
i feel fulfilled when i serve You and please You
i am allowed orgasm only when it suits You
i am Your grateful and eager piss slut
i respect, honor and adore You
i am completely filled up and overwhelmed with love and gratitude for You as we take this journey together